snow business

Snow day!
Actually, it’s more like a power outrage day
We had a wee snow storm last night that left Macaroni’s school in a black out
So they cancelled school for the day
Trying to send Magoo to her school (that doesn’t have a power outrage) when Macaroni had the day off?
My will is not that strong
So both kids are home
And there’s snow ev-ah-ree-where
So….SNOW DAY!

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As I stumbled downstairs this morning to make lunches, the phone was ringing
It was the call about Macaroni’s school being closed
It took me a millisecond to decide that Magoo could stay home too
And the happy dancing began
Me, because bonus time in my PJs is never a bad thing
And the girls because no school = friends coming over = THE BEST DAY EVAAAHHHH MUM!!!

We’re all currently in my office and Ipadded, Imacced, or Iphoned up
Steve Jobs would be proud
(I’ll post a pic of my office one day when it’s not so messy….so probably never)

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I had to remind Magoo to use her foot spray before she entered
Before her, I thought the only people who had feet that smelt like curdled goat’s cheese were me and my Dad
Turns out you can pass down cool traits like that to your eight year old
So, part of my morning ritual of telling her to ‘brush your teeth’ and ‘eat your breakfast’ now includes …‘spray yo feet child!’

Quite like sitting around the dinner table with your kids at night
Sitting around my desk is often the place where we have serious family discussions
The kind that just happen organically.
Ha, I just used the wanky term ‘organically’. I hate myself right now
If you have kids, you know how it is when you ask them anything
How was your day?
Good
Much homework?
Nope
Was your lunch OK?
Yeah
At least that’s how it feels sometimes around here

So actual conversations with humans I birthed is always welcome

This morning’s…

Macaroni: What’s a douche?
Me: An idiot
Macaroni: Can I call someone that or is it a really bad word?
Me: Best to use that one under your breath, just in case
Magoo: I like it. Douche, douche….. DOUCHE!

Then Diamond walked in
Why are you yelling douche?

Me: Because the girls wanted to know what it meant
Diamond: What did you tell them?
Me: That it meant idiot
Diamond: What about the other definition?
Me: Huh?
Diamond: The flushing thing?
M&M: WHAT FLUSHING THING?!?!

I gave Diamond the look
The one that says, really? REALLY?? You want to have a conversation about vajay-jay cleaning with your girls right now because that’s what you’ve just started buddy
It should be noted that he also wouldn’t let (a very pregnant) me get away with telling a then 2 year old Macaroni that her sister was going to come out of my belly button. I had to tell her the truth. She cried and ran around holding her crotch for the rest of the day.
Sometimes excluding all the facts is good
And it’s not the same as lying
It’s called parenting.

Macaroni: What’s the douche that’s a flushing thing Dad?
Diamond: (suddenly all uncomfortable and without the ability to make eye contact) It’s a toilet kinda thing that mainly ladies use to wash their…ahh…private parts
Macaroni: Why?
Diamond: Because they want to
Macaroni: WHY?
Diamond: Like for hygiene I guess, so it doesn’t smell

Magoo: SO NOW I HAVE TO GET A SPRAY FOR MY PEE PEE TOO!?!?

 

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crazy shade of winter

I’ve gotten a tonne of messages over the last couple of days, mainly from family & friends in Australia…
OH MY GOD IT’S SO COLD OVER THERE, ARE YOU DYING BECAUSE IT SAID ON THE NEWS THAT PEOPLE ARE DYING?
I know some people hate this weather, dread it….even makes ’em grumpy (hello Diamond)
But as someone who doesn’t have to drive hours in it to get to work
Doesn’t have to shovel the snow
And whose bones aren’t at an age (yet) where these kind of frigid temps make you ache and hurt
All I have to do in this weather is enjoy it
I might get sick of it one day
And then I might move
But as someone whose skin just gets freckly in summer and whose boob sweat is more like a waterfall….I am ALL ABOUT THE WINTER
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And it doesn’t get much more WINTER than Chicago in January
Except maybe Chicago in February

We took Heiny (my GF visiting from Oz) downtown to the Adler Planetarium
The best part for me was the view of the lake
Perfectly purdy for pics
The soundtrack to this shot would be my nostril hairs crackling as they turned to ice
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The other question I keep getting asked, again mainly from peeps in the southern hemisphere (where it’s the middle of summer right now) is WHAT DO YOU DO ALL DAY WHEN IT’S SO COLD OUTSIDE THAT YOU’LL PROBABLY DIE?
While the kids have had days off school for ‘snow days’ – when the snow makes it too hard/dangerous to get to school.
In all the years I’ve lived here (15 I think?) I’ve not known there to be school canceled because it’s TOO COLD
So after 2 weeks off for Christmas (the big school break is in the summer June/July/August) no one was happier than Macaroni and Magoo to be told Sunday night that school was canceled Monday. Too cold. And then get another call Monday, that school was canceled Tuesday. Too cold
I was just excited to have an excuse to go to the supermarket and buy ALL the candy, chips and guacamole because I don’t mind being cold and homebound, but my stabby side would come out fo sho, if you threw ‘hungry’ into the mix.
People tend to get a bit Armageddon-y when faced with possible big snows and freezing temps and go crazy buying batteries, water and canned goods
I stock up on snacks
Because I’ve always had a good handle on priorities

The kids have loved these extra two days. Truly LOVED it.
They played outside without giving a shit if their noses might fall off
We were sensible though, going inside to warm up regularly, and we never stayed out too long at once because hello….my wine wasn’t going to refill itself
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Then, thanks to some other sober crafty Mums, I got some ideas for things we could actually do on these freeze-your-arse off days, that you couldn’t do on other, not so cold days
Because when life gives you lemons snow….margaritas & wine slushies just got a whole lot easier
We don’t need no stinkin’ fridge!
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I tried the ‘throw-boiling-water-in-the-air-and-watch-it-turn-into-snow’ trick
I even tried dismally to film it.
You can check it out on my crappy instagram clip of it here
I also tried the ‘blow-bubbles-outside-and-watch-them-freeze-and-turn-so-pretty-and-glasslike’ (as suggested by my mate in Oz, Amanda) see awesome pics of it here
Except they kept bursting. In my face. My cold face. That was now covered in frozen bubble-liquid-stuff. It was like getting jizzed on by an invisible snowman.
Needless to say, it was a fail.

My favourite (and most successful) outdoor thing-to-do was something I saw on my mate Angie’s FB page
You fill balloons up with water and food colouring.
Put them outside for a few hours to freeze
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Then peel the balloons off
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Which leaves you with round, glassy frozen marble-like ballsIMG_0133

Ours turned out more like little christmas lights rather than big marbles
And some weren’t quite frozen when we took the balloons off because…..impatient!
But we loved ’em
They turned out pretty cool, me thinks.IMG_0132Tomorrow we’re going to try this after school because it’s edible and sugary (thanks Jamie)
Then we’re going for the rematch
Remember THIS?
Yep, tomorrow I’m defending my title
Stay tuned….

 

 

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