the benefits of being lazy

Today we had a rollerskating party for Magoo’s birthday

Lots of her little friends came out to help celebrate

There’s not a lot funnier than watching a bunch of 6-9 year olds skate for the first time

Diamond was all, c’mon we have to get out there too.
‘Cause I’m pretty sure he still thinks it’s the eighties

And I was like, dude, you know I’ll end up on my arse and probably break my wrist in the bargain and then I won’t get to do the UK tour OR be able to wipe my own bum. So no, I’ll be over here sipping from my special stash taking photos being the responsible parent.
So take photos I did. That all turned out dark and shitty.
But for once, I actually bought the flash with me. Huzzah!
The flash, yeah.
Batteries for the flash? Of course I didn’t.
Whatevs, even in the dark blurriness, you can see that fun was had.
Then it kind of went to shit.

Magoo fell. Hard.
Macaroni fell. Harder.
Diamond fell. Oh my my God so fucking hard the whole room turned around to look.

So I am on ‘ice-duty’ this fine Saturday night.
Can you believe I actually stopped myself doing a post this morning before we went rollerskating about, ‘wish me luck’ and ‘hope our health insurance is paid up’ for fear of JINXING shit.
Gee…so glad I didn’t do THAT.

Magoo has bruised her (already turning purple) tail bone
Macaroni has a sprained and swollen wrist.
Diamond has 2 broken ribs and a big ol’ case of ‘what the fuck was I thinking?’

I am fine and working hard to not gloat on tomorrow’s hangover

Can’t wait to do this all again in two weeks for Macaroni’s roller skating count me the fuck out birthday party.






  1. That would be very funny if it wasn’t so painful …….. but at least now you get to play Doctors and Nurses with Diamond …. in between saying “I fucking told you so” of course xx

  2. He actually broke ribs roller skating? That takes some effort. A wrist or an arm I could understand – but ribs is some feat.

    And they take an age to heal.

    I can imagine that you were the dutifully attentive and caring wife the whole step of the way.


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