love is…

So, I wasn’t going to write about this

It was one of those things that I thought, you know what? I’m going to leave this one alone

And yet now, I feel like if I write it out – it’ll feel better

Writing has always been a friend for me like that

 

Many of you know about my PopΒ (I’ve written about him before here and here)

And also my Nanna (who’s was awesome before the word was even invented)

You also probably remember how fabulous (times a bazillion) it is that they’ve beenΒ married for 69 years


Nanna has been in a home for a while now

And in that time, has been visited by Pop every day. That’s right. Every. Single. Day.

Pop has constantly asked, “…when is she coming home?” Not ever truly understanding that she wouldn’t be

Over the last few months, Pop has been the one that’s needed taking care of

But in true, stubborn Pop fashion – he’s been giving everyone the preverbal finger, and ignoring us all

You name it – telling the ‘meals on wheels’ ladies to bugger off – putting the deadbolt on the door so the cleaners can’t get in.

It would be funny if he didn’t need the services so much

 

Anyhoo, this weekend, it all changed. After a more than a few falls, and minor emergencies recently – Pop couldn’t keep turning everyone away

It was decided that he would go into the home with Nanna

We were all so pleased – as anyone who has to put a relative in care would attest – it’s a long waiting game, and a bit of a lottery as to where they’ll end up

So yeah, we hit the jackpot – and he was able to go where Nanna is, in a double room with her

We’ve been making jokes (as we do) about her being pissed off about losing her independence and having to put up with his snoring again. But obviously, we’re all thrilled they can be together.

I’ve got to tell you, he is so lucky to have 3 daughters and a son who are so dedicated to making sure he’s OK. I’m not sure what people do without any family to look out for them when they get old. Makes me sad just thinking about it

So, Pop got transferred from the hospital, where he’s been for a week, to the nursing home

He arrived Saturday

He’s barely said a word and hasn’t got out of bed since he arrived

Nanna hasn’t left his side

They’ve put a chair beside his bed for her. She’s been holding his hand the whole time

And I’m so sad right now I don’t even have the words for it

One of my many favourite pics of Pop – this is from theΒ girl’s birthday party last month in Perth. It looks like Magoo has done, or said something to make Pop laugh. I just love this photo.

11 comments

  1. I wasn’t going to reply to this because you made me cry and that’s not your job, I can do a pretty good job of that on my own thank you very much xx So I’ll just say, been there done that and didn’t like it, hope your pop adjusts better than my mum has though. Hugs and prayers for all concerned xx

  2. Oh boy.. sending you virtual hugs! My Pop lived with us for 12 years, and being half Irish and half Italian, you can imagine how stubborn he was when it came to accepting help. Mum & Dad eventually became too worried after one too many falls about having him at home all day by himself while they were out to work, and the decision was made to move him to a local home. He was much the same as your Pop, angry, upset and confused – he too didn’t leave his bed for days.. I guess it would be a kick in the teeth for someone who has been so independent for so many decades. Soon enough though, he embraced where he was, and he learnt to enjoy his time there.. the nurses were great, he enjoyed the food and the company from the other residents who still had their brain in properly working order, just limited physical mobility. I will have my fingers crossed that your Pop will soon enough embrace his changed environment.. by the sounds of it, there is no way he has simply been dumped in there – he’s there because your caring family truly believe it is best for him, and I so so hope he realises that.. I guess old men can just be a stubborn bunch sometimes. Hopefully having your Nan there with him helps. Okay, didn’t mean to write such a novel.. but just wanted to say that there’s so many of us who can relate to what you’re feeling at the moment, and it’s not nice.. but all we can do is be there for our awesome grandparents as much as possible (like you, I was very far away from Pop geographically). Thinking of you! Kylie xx

  3. Hi Jenny I know nothing we will say will make this any easier for you but just wanted to let you know our hearts are with you. Hope everything works out the way you want it.

    Hugs
    Sheila & Rob

  4. I know what you are going through. I had the same decsision to make but as I am a only child I had nobody to discuss it with. One of the hardest things I have had to do. However you can rest assured that what your family has done is the right thing. They will be cared for and looked after together now.

    If writing about it helps, keep those pages coming. You and dad do more for us making us laugh than we can do for you.
    That does not sound right but you know what I mean.
    It is good to see a couple so much in love for so long.

  5. My love, I wish I had a magic wand to wave and make it all better. Maybe even some Apricot Chicken and a good old Chat. Either way I can’t but know you and your families are in our thoughts. Love Nett xxx

  6. Wow that sure bought a few tears to the eyes..Watching your parents /grandparents get old and frail is one of the hardest things a person has to go through.Just find comfort in knowing that they are together side by side as they prepare for their final journey.Stay strong xxxxxxxxxxxxx

  7. Damn, I must be getting soft in my old age. You got me thinking about my own grandparents, who have left us long ago. And now I think of my twins grandparents and how much the girls are losing because of arguments, slights (real or imagined), and their stubborn mother. Seems these days, in a lot of cases, family doesn’t mean what it used to. Glad you guys are bucking the trend.

    Say Hi to the hairy one for us.

    Dilli

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