Being home in December is the besets of the best

I get do all the Christmas fun stuff with the girls

This week I have been to the school 5 times to volunteer with class parties and craft projects

Each time, I have been dressed head to toe, in varying versions of green & red

Always with a different flashing hat

And dripping in dollar store Christmas jewelry

It costs a lot of money to look this cheap

Yesterday I helped Macaroni’s class bake Gingerbread men

Now, me and baking aren’t really mates – so I was hesitant, and wasn’t looking forward to it, but figured it couldn’t be any worse than waxing my own bikini line

All the Mums were gathered in the cafeteria, and the kids came in from the classrooms in groups of 4.

I, not wanting to fuck it up, asked what I should do first

Then a Mum, that obviously hasn’t been laid since January, told me, “washing your hands might be a nice start”

Oh, so THAT’S how we roll at these happy kid-friendly Christmas fun days? Full on bitch mode. Got it.

So I washed my hands, and then pulled up a chair over by the oven. I’d decided to be the boss of ‘timing’ the cookies. I just sat there, counting down backwards from seven minutes, loudly – for every batch that sour mutt bought to me

She then told me my outfit was ‘interesting’ and that she too used to have a dark stripe in her hair too – but she ‘grew out of that phase’

Then I saw HER son, picking his nose, then sticking his hands all over the gingerbread dough. He saw me watching him, and kind of shat himself for an instant. ‘Til I gave him a thumbs up and my best, yeah I’d totally wipe boogers in my food if she was my Mum too dude – look

But I think she might have snuck off to pop some happy pills, cause she actually HUGGED me when I left and THANKED ME for coming to help – like she had no idea that she’s been PMS-ing all in my face for the last hour. Skitzo much?

I almost felt bad about wanting to stab her in the eye with a rolling pin

Not really

She should thank Diamond, because I promised him I wouldn’t try to kill random strangers that pissed me anymore. At least not before Christmas anyway.

Anyhoo

Today was candy houses in Magoo’s class

Which was totally awesome cause we got to eat while we worked

The parents were all super nice and friendly

And made much easier by no one hating on my elf costume and glow in the dark snow boots

And my new WINE BRA.

Rememberance Day,Veteran’s Day, Poppy Day

Whatever you call it, 11-11-11 is a great day to remember those who have served for your country

Macaroni & Magoo’s school held a fantastic assembly to honor the day

The kids sang patriotic songs, waved flags, read essays they’d written about what a veteran means to them

And whether they knew it or not, were learning to respect the people that have, and continue sacrifice for their freedoms

Diamond’s Dad, who served in Vietnam, came with us. He doesn’t say much about his time there, but I could see the pride on his face as he watched his granddaughters and all their little friends show their pride for their country and it’s veterans

The girls, in turn, were beyond chuffed to have their very own veteran to honour

I can’t tell you how wonderful I think it is  that ceremonies like this take place all over the world

So many kids at the school have family members currently serving overseas. I got more than teared up seeing those kids, wearing hats from their family member’s branch of the military, proudly march through the gym carrying flags

They even had a bagpiper play Amazing Grace. And that was the end of me

Magoo got to say the pledge of Allegiance, which she nailed. If you don’t count that it sounded more like the Pwedge of Awegiance

But my favourite part, was actually one of the veterans who assisted in the flag folding. After explaining to the kids about the significance of the flag & how it’s folded (read about it here)

He told everyone that he was at the Lincoln National Cemetery yesterday, and he folded a flag to present to a family of fallen soldier.

He presented 11 flags, at 11 soldier’s funerals yesterday. You could feel his sadness as he told the room this

Then, as the kids walked back to their classrooms, they thanked the veterans and exchanged high fives. These children may not totally ‘get it’ yet. But thanks to days like this, they will. And they should

It was beautiful to see that same sad veteran, end his morning with a big grin on his face

Lest we forget.

Magoo had to fill in a book about herself at school today

She had to draw a picture to accompany each sentence about her senses

Like, a picture to show her favourite thing to smell

She drew Fluffy

Her favourite thing to see?

Fluffy again

Her favourite thing to touch?

Wait for it….yep….Fluffy

Are you sensing the pattern here?

So of course her favourite thing to hear but the one thing that does Diamond & my head in is Fluffy too

She finally drew something different when it was time to show what her favourite thing to taste was

Otherwise her class would think we ran a Chinese restaurant

Icecream

*Insert sigh of relief here*

After all the fucking around by Qantas stress and tears

I DID make it home in time for my mother-in-law’s birthday party

I arrived just in time to see Diamond & his brother nearly blow themselves up set of an amazing fireworks display

It was loud, huge and awesome

And totally illegal

But Diamond’s been running from the police doing this since he was a kid

And had it timed to be finished before the police showed up

It was all over with 30 seconds to spare

So I started my week off with a BIG bang and some fireworks

And haven’t stopped since

Back to school shopping

Because I am so incredibly organised

OK, whatever

Because the girls and I leave soon, and won’t be back ’til school starts and the shops will totally have run out of all the shit I need which will completely fuck with my plans to start the school year off as the Mum with her shit together the mostest

So there’s been back to school eye tests, dental checks and physicals

All passed with flying colors

Does this mean I get a refund on school fees the first time they come home with some kind of bug/flu/cold for the year?

Imma gonna need that in writing thankyouverymuch

There’s been play dates at the park

The weather’s been amazing since I got home

Total swimming weather

Too bad I wouldn’t be caught dead I can’t find my bathers

My nephew and (only) niece have been in from Arizona

Who Macaroni and Magoo ADORE

I have forty-hundred cousins

And the girls only have 6

They get such a thrill when they can spend time with any of them

So there’s been sleepovers, water gun wars, swimming and lots of fun

And s’mores!

And because this weekend is the 4th July weekend over here

That means more parties and fireworks

The legal kind

And drinking

I’ve gone through more Yellow Tail this week than I normally go through in a month

Wine with lunch, in the arvo, with dinner, after dinner

And yes possibly right now with breakfast

Because it’s 10:42 at NIGHT in New Zealand right now

What are you…the fun police?

It’s called DENIAL jet-lag, people!