So, yeah, I’m not dead

I’m just home

Which means not much time for blogging and the like

And that’s more than OK

‘Cause I’m making the most of spending 24/7 with the fam

Pretty soon they’ll be begging me to go back to work (code for get the fuck outta here)

I’m sure there’s a bucket load of work stuff that I shouldn’t be ignoring and could be doing

Like writing

Or working on stuff for the new DVD

But dude, it’s SUMMER here in Chicago

As in, the SUN IS OUT motherfuckers

We wait SO long for that over here, that it’s hard to stay inside and be productive

When I’d rather hang outside by the pool, and do fuck all

Although today, it is hotter than an Ethiopian runner’s ball sack

So we’ve been doing all the indoor stuff

We just got back from the library

Where some old biatch lectured me about the rules, and how dancing with my kids in the public library, was against them

I asked her to show me where exactly the rules said that

But it was hard to get into a shit flight with an octogenarian, whilst simultaneously setting a how-not-to-act-like-a-crack-whore-in-public example for the kids

So I let the volunteer-grey-nurse-nazi tear me a new one

And I smiled

And walked away

As Miss 6 asked, are ALL old people that grumpy?

And Miss 4 wanted to know, why the mean lady had a beard

So we got outta there before I got busted again

This time for snort laughing & high fiving with children

.

Now they’re over hanging out with me

And are playing the game they like to call the ’secret sister’s club’

That I can’t play because I’m a Mummy

And I won’t let them jump on me ’cause it hurts like a bastard and I bruise easily

And not having a sister makes me ineligible too

Whatever

I’ll just wait

They’ll totally want to play with me again soon

They’ll be begging me to go swimming

And not just because they’re not allowed to go in the pool without me

It’s because they LOVE ME

DUH!

There’s a great story in Dad’s (soon to be released) biography about the amazing lengths he goes to

To make his grandchildren happy

It really is a beautiful thing to watch

I know my girls think that everyone’s Poppy is just like theirs

Who writes funny little songs about them (clean ones!)

Who takes them on adventures

Treasure hunts

And writes magical fairytale stories, that they get to star in

They have some brilliant, one of a kind books in their collection

Written just for them, by their Poppy

Last time the girls were in Lancelin, where Mum & Dad have a beach house

Dad took them, & their cousin, on a 2 day adventure (all us grown ups went along for the ride too)

Full of pirates, princesses, dressing up

That culminated in 3 little girls, dressed in DILLIGAF t-shirts (Poppy forgot the costumes that day)

Digging furiously at the ‘X marks the spot’, that the map had led them to

In the sand dunes where I’m sure it’s totally illegal

Dad wrote a book about their big adventure, using photos he’d taken of them over the 2 days

“Miss 6 & Miss 4 – The Fair Dinkum Fairy Princesses”

My brother’s boys have a fantastic book Dad wrote for them too – “Deaf Captain Bungeye & his 2 dickheads deckhands, Lefty &Righty”

.

Having a bit of time while we were in Carnarvon (& having sent off the final draft of his biography) had Dad thinking of his next project

And this is how it starts…

He went shopping

Then he tells me & Mum he wants us all to go for a walk on the beach

And for me to bring my camera

I’m assuming there’s some topless sunbathers he wants to perve at get his pic taken with

Then he’s like, what’s THAT?

I’m like, what’s WHAT?

THAT, he says, pointing at the rocks

Then I realise what he’s up to

It’s the beginning of another treasure hunt

And I’m the photographer for the next book

So I snap away

Oooooh, TREASURE!

And I’m thinking, ummm Dad….that’s lovely and all…but I have 2 daughters…who don’t share for shit and they don’t share well at the best of times

And as I’m working out ways in my head to cut this little treasure chest in half without ruining the whole thing

He starts pointing again

What’s THAT?, he says again

Oh, OK Dad…you win…you’re ahead of me here

Well, would you look at that!

And even Nanna’s in on this one

They get just as much joy out of this as the kids do

Lucky I’m on my way home

‘Cause once the girls find out about this, they’ll be DYING to get their hands on their new treasures

I had to have a little peak

And it’s pretty safe to say Miss 6 & Miss 4 are going to lose their shit when they see this stuff

It’s totally, what Miss 4 would call, the MOTHERWOAD!

The world’s best Poppy has done it again

Can’t wait to read the book!