little women

We had a family day yesterday

That consisted of hanging out, shopping, a nice lunch, a movie

And 10 pin bowling

The entire bowling alley was full of old people

Which is what you get on the 1st of the month, when all the pensioners are out partying their social security checks away

I tell you, the ancient white haired army were on fire

Those nannas were bowling like fucking ninjas

While our entire family’s score totaled less than 300

Diamond will be SO happy I shared THAT with you

Magoo wanted to know why all the ladies had ‘long’ boobs and the men all wore ‘poo coloured’ pants

Macaroni proceeded to give her a lesson on gravity and the convenience of beige pants when wearing adult diapers that are prone to leakage

We love watching our girls parent themselves

But we’re REALLY looking forward to getting ridonkulously old, bat-shit crazy, and grossing them out even more than we  do now


We finished off our big day by playing makeup and hair

Diamond (wisely) used this time to clean out the fish tank

The girls told me they wanted to make me up like Barbie

I was all, you know, Barbie is not a realistic girl. Women don’t really look like that. We all come in different shapes and sizes, and our uniqueness is what makes us who we are…..which is naturally perfect, just like you two are…blah blah blah

I was getting right into my, “how to raise daughters that don’t grow up to be bulimic and want boob jobs” speech, when they interrupted me…

But Mummy, you are TOTALLY like Barbie

Except you are prettier and have bigger boobs

Oh, in that case..

Carry the fuck on.


  1. Ages ago my niece (Aged 3) told me I was just like Barbie. The ego bubble popped when she said, “Her knees crack when she sits down too!” Thanks kid.

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