DAVID BECKHAM
By JENNY TALIA
BOTH BARRELS MUSIC
It started as a crush
When I’d get a little flush
Whenever I saw you playing soccer on the tube
Now you’re pictures cover me walls
In your shorts holding your balls
And I dream about you and me, all sweaty and nude
Oh I’d love to bump uglies with you David Beckham
I’d go down on my knees for you and swallow in a second
You’re gorgeous, you’re lovely – shame you’re married to that fugly
So a threesome out of the question
But I love you David Beckham
Life is like a box of chocolates
But you don’t have to always cum in a posh box
Every man needs a bit of variety now and then
So here, I’ll just slip you my number
Cause I’m sure sometimes you must wonder
What it’s like to jump bones with a bit of meat on them
CHORUS
You call yourself a metro sexual
But it shouldn’t take too long to get your
Eyebrows to grow back to the way they were before
See Davey I’m a bit concerned about you feminine side
So I’m hoping that you won’t mind
Me sarongs and skirts and knickers staying locked up in a drawer
CHORUS
I can forgive ya for Rebecca Loos
And your weirdo mate Tom Cruise
Everyone’s always hanging shit on you, and that’s not nice
They should stick to your other half
She makes a much better target
Me and the girls at work call her “waste of spice!”
CHORUS
So if you’re feeling like a bit on the side
Give me a call Davey, don’t be shy
I’ll show ya how a real woman get’s it done
You be the striker I’ll be the stroker
I’ll bend like Beckham and squeal and moan
I won’t ever sell the pictures once we’re done (I’ll just show me mates!)
CHORUS
Giver her some beer and chips to fatten her up
Then maybe David Beckham
She’d still have to have a bag on her head but
OK David Beckham
