by JENNY TALIA
BOTH BARRELS MUSIC
What’s this thing for?
I found it in your room, in your undies drawer
It’s like a big silver bullet all shiny and new
How does it work mum what does it do?
Love to see the gun that goes with this
Bet it’s a huge to use bullets this big
Oh look, it wiggles round and round
Can’t wait to show Daddy what I found
I found some other stuff too
Are all those toys just for Daddy and you?
You always tell us kids to share
So why do you hide them, that’s not fair
I found these red undies in there mum
But there’s bit missing they don’t have a bum
What if you got in an accident, that’s what you always say
I’ll just use them as a slingshot, that’d be great
Hey Mum who’s this school uniform for?
You’re a big girl now so it can’t yours
Is it for me, for when I get bigger?
I never had a uniform made out of leather
Hey Mum can I use these handcuffs?
You know I wanna be a policeman when I grow up
I could practice using them on the kids at school
For show and tell mum – cool
Hey Mum look what I got
It’s a movie and everyone’s covered in snot
The lady on the cover’s got it all over her face
Err gross, how must that taste
Hey Mum do you feel OK?
Your face is all red and your eyes are all glazed
Are mad? I didn’t break anything
Here ya are, have back your balls on a string
There ya go mum drink your cup of tea
I’ve put everything back nice and neat
I won’t play with your toys, I’ll leave them alone
When I’m a big girl I’ll get some toys of my own – Hey Mum!