It started as a crush

When I’d get a little flush

Whenever I saw you playing soccer on the tube

Now you’re pictures cover me walls

In your shorts holding your balls

And I dream about you and me, all sweaty and nude

Oh I’d love to bump uglies with you David Beckham

I’d go down on my knees for you and swallow in a second

You’re gorgeous, you’re lovely – shame you’re married to that fugly

So a threesome out of the question

But I love you David Beckham

Life is like a box of chocolates

But you don’t have to always cum in a posh box

Every man needs a bit of variety now and then

So here, I’ll just slip you my number

Cause I’m sure sometimes you must wonder

What it’s like to jump bones with a bit of meat on them


You call yourself a metro sexual

But it shouldn’t take too long to get your

Eyebrows to grow back to the way they were before

See Davey I’m a bit concerned about you feminine side

So I’m hoping that you won’t mind

Me sarongs and skirts and knickers staying locked up in a drawer


I can forgive ya for Rebecca Loos

And your weirdo mate Tom Cruise

Everyone’s always hanging shit on you, and that’s not nice

They should stick to your other half

She makes a much better target

Me and the girls at work call her “waste of spice!”


So if you’re feeling like a bit on the side

Give me a call Davey, don’t be shy

I’ll show ya how a real woman get’s it done

You be the striker I’ll be the stroker

I’ll bend like Beckham and squeal and moan

I won’t ever sell the pictures once we’re done (I’ll just show me mates!)


Giver  her some beer and chips to fatten her up

Then maybe David Beckham

She’d still have to have a bag on her head but

OK David Beckham

One comment

  1. Just great!
    Why don´t you come to Sweden? To Falun e.g… I´ll be there 😀
    By the way, bring your dad 😉

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