it’s all fun and games until someone…

It was Macaroni’s turn for her birthday rollerskating party today
And after the bruise-fest that was Magoo’s party earlier this month, I was a little apprehensive
Diamond was banned for skating all together. The broken ribs PLUS his arm in a sling from rotator cuff surgery last week, made it pretty easy to win that argument.
The day started off awesome by me showing up an hour earlier than the rink even opened,  thanks to my watch (that I haven’t worn in a while) still being on Las Vegas time.
That’s right, I was standing outside the rink, holding balloons and cookie cakes, calling the owner to tear him a new one…..when he politely told me it was 11am.
NOT 12pm
Jesus Talia.
But the party went off without a hitch. All the kids had a great time.
If you don’t count the one little girl who had an anxiety attack because she hadn’t taken her anti-eplilepsy drugs and the flashing disco lights were making her nervous and dizzy. So yeah, there was THAT.

(My fab foray into flash-less birthday party photography continues)

But….in a week that’s seen me attacked by a goat at a children’s farm, almost ruin the tooth fairy myth, see my not-quite-nine-year-old daughter being tall enought to look me in the eye, *lose my car, endure the fuckery that is bra shopping, AND put on ANOTHER 5 pounds…. you know….things are looking up.

On Wednesday…. the UK / Ireland tour starts
Huzzah motherfuckers!

*technically it was where I parked it the whole time….but bra shopping wears me the fuck out y’all and my eyes were TI-YERD!



  1. I think for the mere token of asking – any number of your male fans could go bra shopping with you to lighten the load (<– see what I did there)


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