scrambled eggs

I’ve been posting pics lately

But not blogging much

Lazy? Cheating?


Here’s a glimpse into what’s been going on

Just imagine you’re having a peek inside my brain right now


Random, scrambled, a little chaotic,

A lot weird

Yes I am.


Have been finishing up my schedule for the year

Northern Territory (in just over 2 weeks!)

Then straight onto New Zealand, Sydney, Japan, Western Australia, Melbourne & back to Sydney

Frequent Flyer points anyone?

Booking shows, tours and flights

Especially excited to be bringing the girls to Australia again for a couple of months later in the year

Can’t believe it’s been TWO YEARS since they were there last

It’s been even longer for Diamond

Yes, he’s coming TOO!!!


We’ve been looking at these

Months traveling around working, WITH my family?

Yes please

Lots more deets on THAT coming…


Hours and HOURS of live footage from South Africa to go through

To edit a new LIVE DVD

‘Bout bloody time, I know

Have you ever spent HOURS watching yourself on video?Β Pornos don’t count

Yes, it is as painful as it sounds

Looking to have a release date for it later this year


Then there’s the new album I’ve started working on

And by started working on I mean, I cleaned my desk, went and bought new notepads and pencils, put new strings on my favourite writing guitar

Then sat like a stunned mullet for over a week

Coming up with nothing

All these freaks peeps keep popping into my head

But I’m not sure I really want to write a song about any of them

And I know I’m probably opening myself for a world of cray-cray here

But what would YOU like to hear a song about?

Keeping in mind that CAMEL TOES, FUCKWITS, FACEBOOK & DAVID BECKHAM have been done

Leave me a comment and I’ll totally ignore all the fucktard ones add your ideas to my empty list!!

You tooΒ Dad!


  1. I don’t mind the royals, the other two I can’t stand.

    I’ve always wanted a song about queefing in your blokes mouth while he’s going down on you. A friend told me his wife did it to him once and I always thought it was hilarious.

    Juliar should be an easy target, being a ranga, a woman and sounding like Kath & Kym. I’d kill to see her say “look at moi Australia”.

    I’d say anal but The Wet Spots did that a bit too well.

    I write/’sing’ a lot of parody lyrics but never write them down so no good subject ideas for you today πŸ™

  2. Bit hard to go past that photo you posted of Wills and Catherine on the balcony… and can you fit us in that bus of yours? Let’s tour baby!!!

  3. Ideas for songs hmmmmm.

    Funny stuff kids say, words they slighty mispronouce like the other day my little girl said “Daddy wheres my Ten dough DS”
    Oh and stuff like how she manages to balance the coleslaw in the fridge perfectly with the lid slightly off so when I open the fridge it lands beautifully on the kitchen floor… the little shit lol.

    The royal wedding – and how all us boys wanted the ring shot of Kate, and how wrong fergies girls got there outfits so wrong again!!

    The London Olympics and the fear us brits have of the builders still using the sand from the sandpit from the hop,skip and jump to finish the building as the athletes are mid-air lol.

    Cricket- nah better not that only winds ya dad up : – )

    dunno if that helps – keep on strumming girl xxx Jon da Pom

  4. When I saw you last, you made a joke bout leaving your kids in the car so maybe turn that into a song?! Somehow lol. Like punishments you’d do if your kids misbehaved?! I always say that if my son doesnt behave I’ll sell him on eBay!

    And I know you have ‘Nice Girls Do’ but us Aussie girls need an anthem!!! Especially when we’re from the country! We ain’t fake, we got all the real stuff, we have attitude and play along with the guys! πŸ˜€ won’t find sheilas like us nowhere else!

    Oh and why your at it, write my ex a song πŸ˜€ PLEASE! fuckhead it is! Bloody mind games, guilt trips and a small dick! Would muchly appreciate this one! (‘Bastard’ just wasn’t hurtful enough :/ )

    Oh and one more, a song about a prime as guy that turns out to be gay (my best friend is gay and I’m in love with him, want him to turn straight!!! Maybe a song would help :p)

  5. Hiya Jen,

    I really think an alternative ‘Royal Wedding’ song would be in order.

    Kate’s married her long tall Willy, best man is a ginger, and the whole country wants to shag the maid of honour. The groom’s father was talking to the nag’s head (wrinkly bitch 2nd wife).

    I’m sure reveiwing some of the foortage will give you plenty of ideas.

    Still waiting to hear about Nigel’s daughter, screwing her way through facebook.

    And anything that will really offend the European Union would be warmly welcomed.

    Take care and remember I’m still in the queue if the picture falls of the headboard. πŸ˜‰

  6. hi ya jen

    accident prone people they are the funniest lol i am one of them i have been out of bed an hour and have already triped over my own feet and hit my elbow into the hallway door and spilt the coffee its going to be anopther great day yeahhhhhhhhhhh and all the while my hubby says aw you ok hunny while pissing himseolf laughing thats real love that is

  7. How about one in honour of Mothers Day?

    I got stretch marks and a saggy bum
    But I’m still glad I’m your mum…..

    You can do the rest Jen


  8. Hey Mick, don’t forget a reference to “lifting me skirt to flash me tits”. Two hungry boy babies and I HAVE to wear a bra! Oh well, at least they keep my knees warm in the winter.

    Cheers Jen, can’t wait to hear the new stuff πŸ˜‰

  9. I kinda’ dig the “World Events” theme, Jenster…write about them all! Politics, Religion and Terrorist Children… πŸ™‚

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