I’m sure a lot of you are familiar with the name Jessica Watson
Especially the Aussies reading this
She’s 16 years old
And has just spent 210 days at sea (in her pink boat)
Sailing solo around the world
Yeah, that’s right
They say it’s not a world record
As they don’t keep records for under 18s
To discourage nutjob parents from chucking their kids in a boat and saying, see ya!
In the hopes of fame & recognition and getting their kids taken away from them
I gotta say
Sailing doesn’t appeal to me
Sailing by myself would frighten me
Being on a boat for 210 days would scare the living shit out of me
In which case I would no doubt die of fright
Meaning, I would shit myself so bad
I would drown in it
So yeah, no solo sailing efforts for this little land duck
But this kid Jessica
And she seems so together
One of the best quotes from her, that’s been repeated in most of the articles I’ve read is
If your parents give you the freedom for little adventures, you can go on to have big adventures
I am completely ordinary. I just put a lot of effort in, had a great team around me and I think that goes to show you don’t have to be anyone special to achieve something big. You just have to want it
I say she’s anything but ordinary
There’s no way I would be that humble about such a major achievement
I’d be all hanging off the front of the boat screeching out the theme to the Titanic
Yelling, where my sailors at?
Can a bitch get her some SAILORS??
Then I’d totally release a calendar with all the sailors
And I’d….oh wait, where was I?
This kid makes me proud to be an Aussie
While simultaneously making me nervous as a mum
I’m keeping mine away from water, just in case they get any crazy ideas
No more baths
They can consider it an early Christmas present
AUSSIE! AUSSIE! AUSSIE!
You BLOODY beauty!!