I love eavesdropping
Like, I REALLY like it A LOT
I think we’ve established that
Not sure what that says about me
Oh wait, yeah I do
Sad, can’t mind my own business, get a life
I mean, I know it’s not a good thing sometimes
And there’s every chance you’ll end up hearing something you don’t want to hear
Remember THIS ONE?
And then other times it can be educational
Like when we LEARNT ANOTHER LANGUAGE
Well today it was just funny
Quick question first:
Is it even eavesdropping if you’re listening in on your own kids?
In your own house?
Even if they’re in THEIR toy room?
With the door closed?
Get back to me on that couldya?
So the girls are the toy room
They wanted to watch a movie
I said, SURE
They said, YAY
I said, after you clean your toy room
They said, WHAT THE FUCK MUM BOO!
Then they went in, shut the door and did not start to clean
After a while, I hear them yelling
Miss 6: You are NOT helping clean up
Miss 4: I don’t want to
Miss 6: You HAVE to
Miss 4: You are NOT THE BOSS OF ME
Miss 6: You know, at school they teach us to treat people the way YOU want to be treated. And right now, you’re not treating me very nicely. Is that how you want me to treat you?
Miss 4: I don’t CARE.
Miss 6: You need to LEARN things. You don’t want to end up a dummy do you? I can help you if you let me TEACH you. You know that Daddy taught me that we should work as a TEAM. We’ll get everything done faster.
Miss 4: Well Daddy taught me that I can do ANYTHING if I try hard enough. And I am trying very hard to NOT clean up
Miss 6: Well you know what Mummy taught me?
Miss 4: What?
Miss 6: She taught me that if we don’t be good – we don’t get good things. So if we don’t clean our toy room, we don’t get to watch a movie
Miss 4: Well you know what Mummy taught me?
Miss 6: What?
Miss 4: To chew with my mouth closed.
Aaaannd to always wipe from front to back
At this point Miss 6 storms off….huffing and puffing
And her sister keeps yelling out from the toy room
And she taught me to pick my nose with a TISHEEEEWWWW!
And to wash my hands after I scratch my bum A LOOOOOOT!
And that I have to wear underwear to SCHOOOOOOL!
And to not let the dog sniff my PEEEE PEEEEE!
That kid is so fucking funny
She’d be twice as funny if she was YOUR kid!