hooly dooly hexham…. cheers charlestown!

And we’re OFF!
It’s doesn’t get any better than starting a tour off with a week’s worth of SOLD OUT shows, so yeah….so far, so fucking awesomely good!
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I got to break in my brand new guitar (sooo good) AND my new wavy curling iron gadget that I decided to try out on this trip
‘Cause who doesn’t love 80′s hair?

You guys probably recognise Glenn
We see him every time we come to Sydney
It’s always great to see familiar faces, and I loved that he came out for the first night of the tour in Hexham
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Turns out, it doesn’t matter what I do with my hair….I will always end up looking like a drowned rat after my set
In the words of Magoo, “You sure sweat a lot for a girl Mum, but at least you don’t smell”
Thanks?
And Macaroni, “Those people must REALLY like you if they put their arms around you for a  photo when you’re all wet and gross”
Again, thanks?
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But if it bothered the peeps in Hexham, they were nice enough to not say anything
Even if they WERE thinking it
There’s no such thing as a bad time in Hexham, and they proved that again on Tuesday night. Love that place.

Now in Charlestown….they like it loud
It may have been a Wednesday night show – but this crew were partying like it was a weekend. A long weekend
Tonnes of awesome characters, who weren’t adverse to showing some skin
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Lots of boobs for Dad to sign. His TIT CAM is already getting a work out on this tour. There’ll no doubt be a lot of new additions to the GALLERY by the end of this first week
Me? I’m seeing my fair share of ball heads and bellies too
Because while DAD may be prepare to sign the girl’s bits, I’m a fan of all the boys keeping their pants ON
Plus there’s not a marker out there small enough to sign some of the junk that’s been flashed at me over the years
PLUS plus, I’m a one-penis kinda gal.
HI DIAMOND!
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Imma try to post every day while we’re out here on the road
Bring you guys along on this crazy few weeks
I mean, maybe it won’t ALL be crazy….maybe it’s just this first week
But I doubt it.

it’s dartford time, darl!

OK, in an effort to NOT sound like a broken record
Let me just tell you, the Dartford show was a twelve.
That’s out of ten.
Those that were there know why
My ears are ringing
I have a sore face from laughing
And I was so happy to see so many familiar faces
If Dartford is not on the list for my solo shows next year
I’ll probably cry
Or at least sulk and be a complete mole until it IS put on the list
We had our favourite tour manager, Alex – who is from Mexico, meet up with us tonight
And yes, of course we call him Manuel The Bandito
(this is us 30 seconds before I went on stage)

He pops in every few shows to make sure we have clean underwear on and know what day it is. Apparently we do, and it’s Saturday.
Then I walked on stage to possibly the loudest reception I have ever received

I was torn between feeling all goose-bumpy, and fuck yeah!
And then the line at intermission for signing….woah Nelly,the fucking line
It went on forever.
Let me tell you, you Poms could teach the rest of the world a thing or two about queuing (standing in line) It never seems to matter HOW long the line is (tonight’s was for-ev-ah) you just stand there and wait patiently. Mate, I would totally be yelling out, hurry the fuck up, or just saying ‘fuck it’ and heading to the bar. But you guys? Nope. Polite and lovely. Every. Time.
We (AGAIN?) look like selling out of my F.O.C.U.S. T-Shirts - but the Dartford crew have that totally covered.
I saw so many great homemade shirts tonight – but I reckon this might have been my fave

Especially because I was told that I looked WAY skinnier BEFORE he put the shirt on

Yep, it’s totally the shirts fault.

Dartford….love ya guts.

But you already knew that x

friday night in felixstowe!

Friday night in Felixstowe
We’ve been looking forward to this one
The theatre here is like a second home to us. I’ve played here on my own, and more times than I can remember with Dad
Check out some other people that have rocked this stage
Pretty impressive, no?

(the young lad in the black and white pic….recognise him?)

I’m totally bummed to say that this lovely 100 year old Marina theatre, as of January, will be no more.
Sad face.
They are closing down the entire building and at this stage, have no plans to rebuild anything in it’s place.
Boo.

We’ve had so many ball-tearing shows here over the years.

And tonight Lowestoft, I think we may have topped them all.
Seriously one of the best shows on the entire tour. Hands down.

And while it’ll be weird not playing here again
There’s already a plan B in place!
I totally invited myself and the other thousand people here tonight, to some random dude in the front row Slinky’s house next year. That’s where my solo show will be, cool?

I’ll find out his address and let you all know on Facebook
I’m sure he won’t mind.

Ain’t nothing like a Felixstowe crowd!