Took the girls to the zoo yesterday

The weather was beautiful

And it wasn’t crowded at all

The perfect combo for a great day out

Last time I took the girls to Taronga

You may recall that Macaroni had a little run in with a fence and a giraffe

So this time, we decided to go into Koala enclosure instead

Way safer

Koalas sleep 20 hours a day, so I didn’t expect to get any super great photos

Wrong

They woke up as soon as we got in there

Soooo cute

The girls were loving it

Me, not so much

But only because one of them tried to kill me

Well, not ‘kill’ me per say

Just lunged at me so quickly I nearly shat myself

I mean technically, it wasn’t so much a ‘lunge’ as a twitch of it’s arm

But the intent was totally there

I know, I know – in the photo it just looks like it’s looking at me thinking I woke up for this shit?

But trust me – that little fucker was pure evil

I think he might have even had a knife

Killer Koala the Bad, BAD News Bear

I’m lucky I got out of there in one piece

Zoos are fucking dangerous y’all.

If you went to a public toilet

How many of you would use this?

I mean if it was in a gay bar there’d be a line to use it

With a big jar of vaseline so no one gets hurt

I don’t reckon I could

Seriously, it’s too lifelike for me

There’s even hair on it

Or maybe I’ve been looking at it too closely *ahem*

Yeah…nah

I’d have to go without

Faced with this

I’d rather drip dry

*thanks Brett*

Two years ago, when we last toured New Zealand

Mum & I were looking for something to do on our day off

This time, I won’t be so fucking stupid I’m letting Mum pick the activity

If the sight of your seven year old scaling an indoor rock wall

Makes you all squeamish & pukey

I think that means you are a pussy should scratch ‘scaling Mt Everest’

Off your bucket list