I remember last time we were in Sydney

I didn’t stop bragging about the fabulous weather

And saying how, even though it was winter

The weather was so fab

I was expecting more of the same this time

Yeah…umm..that hasn’t been the case so far

We’ve stepped into a Sydney winter

That so far, has had the highest rainfall in in years

Sydney has experienced its wettest July since 1950 as parts of NSW are declared natural disaster zones

But we’re all good

Except my hair

I’m having a bad hair week

Normal people have bad hair days when the weather’s hot and humid

I used to laugh about that

So karma is being handed to me on a big ol’ ‘fuck you’ platter

In the form of frizzy, yellow, hooker hair

Go, me!

Anyhoo

The sun’s expected to show it’s face again by Sunday

So for now, we’re enjoying it

We tried walking around in it today

But it was pretty torrential out there

Umbrellas were proven useless after about 5 minutes

And we all got saturated

Dad picked today to take the girls for a walk to the beach

Because….well…that’s what he DOES

The girls loved it though

Poppy time is always the best they reckon

Rain, hail, shine

Or flash flood

 

I’m sure most of you have heard about the Chilean ash cloud by now

Ash cloud from the eruption of the Mt Puyehue Cordon Caulle volcano in Chile has been causing chaos in New Zealand skies for the past two weeks and continues to ground flights.

Air New Zealand passengers are the only people taking to the skies today with Qantas, Jetstar and Pacific Blue cancelling all services to and from New Zealand.

Now, I’m all about safety

Especially at 35,000 feet in the sky

We knew last night before the show that our flights home today, with Qantas had been cancelled

To be honest, we’d been following the news all week

So we were kind of prepared for it

And from a safety point of view, I didn’t WANT to fly, if the people that know their shit over at Qantas, didn’t deem it to be safe

So I called Qantas to ask if they had any idea when they expected to be flying again

In one day….two days?

The lady on the phone said that while she couldn’t give me an accurate answer, understandably

She could tell me that the first flight with seats available back to the U.S would be July 4th

Wah….THE FOURTH OF JULY??

That’s TEN FUCKING DAYS AWAY

I was like, hang on – so even if your flights are up and running TOMORROW, you can’t get me on a flight until July 4th?

She said, yes – all the flights are full

Well that’s all well and good lady…but WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO FOR TEN FUCKING DAYS IN THE MEANTIME?

She said, Well we’re happy to reimburse you for accommodation and one meal per day

I said, will you also be happy to call my two daughters and tell them, hey kids – you know how you thought Mummy was coming home tomorrow? Well she’s not, OK…ha ha…joke’s on you!

And then deal with the consequences of that?

I tried to reason with the woman, who I appreciate was only trying to do her job

But it’s hard for two people to have a constructive conversation when one of them is bawling their eyes out

And the other one is a bitch

(It was nice to NOT be the bitch for a change!)

Anyhoo

The conversation ended with her having enough of my hysterics, “do you want to rebook your flight for July 4th or am I terminating this call?”

Call terminated with a fuck you, you fucking fuck

Then this tweet

So  a week ago, when I checked out Air New Zealand’s one way fare prices to Chicago – just to see what my travel options were if Qantas was still canceling flights

I saw how  much of a rip off crazy, expensive they were

My jaw hit the ground and I though, well THAT won’t be happening

That was then

But now?

The thought of not seeing my husband and my babies for another 10 days is so completely out of the question

I felt sick just thinking about it

And I understand that some of you are probably thinking, well, you’ve been away this long – what’s another week or so?

I get that

But once a tour is over – you’d be amazed just how quickly I get out of work mode

And long to be home, and be Diamond’d wife

And Mummy to Macoroni and Magoo

It might not make sense to you and my credit card will never understand

But after getting off the phone to the Qantas lady

I was straight on the phone to Air New Zealand

Booking myself the LAST SEAT AVAILABLE

On that  crazy, expensive one way flight to Chicago

And when I got to the airport today

My heart broke a little

When I saw all the cancelled flights

All the stranded passengers that don’t have any options

They’re sleeping at the airport with their families, in the hopes that somehow they can get to where they’re supposed to be

I’m totally and completely not mad about the whole Qantas deal now

As I sit here, getting ready to board my flight

I am feeling nothing but grateful

And I’ve got a big shitting grin on my face to prove it

And if Air New Zealand really ‘shouldn’t’ be flying in the ash cloud because it’s not safe

You can send your “I told you so’s” to me in heaven, no make that hell

Whatever…just email me.

 

PS – Mum & Dad have opted to ‘wait it out’ for now in NZ to see what happens. The idea of no work and a cosy hotel room with just the two of them, for whatever reason, appeals to them

and makes me mouth vomit

Three weeks into the Victoria tour already

Seriously, it’s going crazy fast

Just over a week to go

It’s been pretty shit hot so far

Except for the last couple of days

Which have sucked dick

A lot

I don’t want to  go into it too much

Just know it rhymes with U-PAY-TIMMIGRATION!

But this is where you guys come in

Because it’s pretty hard to stay shitty for long

Meeting so many fucking nutters out here

And catching up with old mates too

(Hi carol & James!)

And sooooo many additions to the wanker wall, it’s going to need it’s own bloody website

And then there’s people like Pam (on the left, in the pic below)

I met Pam a few nights ago

And her sense of humour right now

Considering what she is obviously dealing with,  is pretty fucking awesome

Sometimes we need little reminders

That life is good

And little problems, when you look at the big picture

Amount to fuck all really

So yeah they might never let me back into the UK and I’m going to be fucking spewing the little voice inside my head I like to call, perspective

Is telling me to suck it up biatch!

 

You know how I posted before about how Dad & I were going to

Do something a bit different at our Colac show?

Yeah, well that didn’t happen

See, there was a mix up with advertising for tonights show

We were initially booked to play at a different venue here in Colac

Then that venue got closed for renovations

So the show got re-booked at a different venue

Ticketmaster, being as ‘on the ball’ as they are NOT

Didn’t change the venue listing on the website

They just showed the Colac show as cancelled

Yup, CANCELLED

Pretty hard to sell tickets for a show people think isn’t going ahead

Anyhoo, a few people

And I mean a FEW, were able to buy tickets anyway from the venue

Once we found out that almost no tickets were sold for the show

They told us to cancel it

Dad said, fuck it, we could make this fun

We came down to the venue this afternoon

With plans to set up for a little mini-concert

In the ’round

Backstage

With beer

Turns out the complex where the gig is also houses cinemas

So their management wasn’t keen on us playing in an area that wasn’t ‘zoned’ for a show

And then…

Then people started buying tickets

Too many for us to go ahead with our planned KEV & JENNY UNPLUGGED gig

So yeah, that kinda sucks

But for those that were at the ‘regular’ show tonight

You guys were very cool

And we had fun anyway – as we always do

But I wanted you guys to know that the thought was there

That’s what counts, right?

The plus side?

POPCORN!!