queensland bums, bling & bellies

We’ve been making our way through North Queensland for nearly two weeks now

Leaving our mark at public toilets across the state

With a trail of “I Love My Jenny Talia” stickers


We’ve been lucky to stay in some beautiful places

Mackay was definitely one of those


And as with every tour, we’ve been loving meeting some of the mad buggers that have come out to the shows

Like Kim – whose jeans now how my scribble on the bum


And this lovely lady

It actually took me a while to recover from the shock of meeting her

And realising that I’d finally been “OUT-blinged” by someone

But I’ve already started stocking up on glitter & sparkly things

My plan is to blow her out of the water on the next tour through these parts

Nicely of course


There’s been whole families come along to the show

And that makes me happy

You know, knowing my family is not the only fucked-up one out there


This has been my favourite shirt of the tour so far

A guy actually came to the show wearing this same shirt in the UK last year

I told him I loved it, so he GAVE it to me

OK, I may have begged a little

So Mark was lucky, he got to keep his


We’ve met some lovely people, like Matthew & Leanne is Innisfail

(& yeah, the main reason I put this pic in is because I’m the 2nd tallest one in it. Check THAT shit out!)


And some crazy bastards like this mob in Ingham



Then last night in Atherton, we had a BELLY-FEST

Lots of boys wanted me to leave my mark on their gut

As they competed with each other in trying to convince me that “their” abs were better than their mates

Um…yeah I beg to differ in this case

While they had a *’how rock hard are my abs’ comp going on between them

(*code for  ‘how soft is my peen)

I was running out of things to scrawl on them

They were all pretty wasted

So I’m hoping they wake up this morning, trying to put together the pieces of last night’s puzzle

And start questioning their sexuality

That would make me so happy

the tit whisperer

I was reading an article at The Med Guru

‘Cause you know, I’m ALL ABOUT reading up on the latest health tips they have to offer

And hangover cures

The story I found was about how men that stare at women’s boobs,  can add years to their lives

And I was all, what is this fuckery?

And did Diamond write this shit?

A German study (like we didn’t already know the Germans were nork-lovers) said that men who ogle at the breasts of women daily exhibited lower blood pressure, slower resting pulse rates and lesser episodes of coronary artery disease

It went on to say that their study indicates that engaging in this activity a few minutes daily cuts the risk of stroke

But I bet it INCREASES the rate of STROK-ING

The bad news in all of this?

That the extra few years added to your life aren’t going to mean shit, when your wife catches you perving at other women’s tits, boys

And your new-found horny-ness is useless when you’re sleeping in the doghouse

Or in extreme cases, left without a penis

But the good news?

My Dad is going to live forever!



tommy emmanuel

Over the years, growing up in Australia

I was always aware of an amazing musician by the name of Tommy Emmanuel

Even as a kid, I knew that Tommy was one of the best guitar players in the world

Tommy started working as a proffessional musician when he was 9 years old

He, along with his family (his brother Phil is also a shit hot picker) toured Australia constantly with their family band

Tommy’s incredible gift and unique style has seen his popularity take off all over the world

He’s won just about every award there is to win

Including being nominated twice for a Grammy

I remember sitting on the floor of my apartment in Nashville, watching Tommy & his brother Phil, showing the world just how good they are

At the opening ceremony of the Sydney Olympics in 2000

One of the most prestegious things to happen in Tommy’s amazing career

And something that ANY guitar player would give their left nut for

Was a collaboration with the legend, and Tommy’s personal hero, CHET ATKINS

Not only did Tommy & Chet make some incredible music together

(The Day Finger Pickers Took Over The World is a staple on my iPod)

(I took this pic last week, from the wall of stars backstage before our show in Ayr. Where ever you go, you can bet Tommy has been there before – at least twice!)

In 1999 Chet awarded Tommy the honour of CERTIFIED GUITAR PLAYER

It is the highest accolade for any guitarist, and very few can claim to be a CGP

I have met Tommy many, many times over the years

And a lovelier man you will never meet

He is known throughout the industry as a really great bloke

And in a world top heavy with egos & self importance

Tommy has neither

I had the privilege of playing with him a few years ago in Chicago

Don’t worry, I just pretended to play, and let Tommy make my song sound beautiful

And yeah, it was a straight song

Tommy’s manger, Gina has been a great mate of mine for many years

We were even room mates in Nashville for a while

But that’s a whole ‘nother blog

This week, I learned from Gina that Tommy has just been awarded the THE ORDER OF AUSTRALIA

It is:

An Australian society of honour for the purpose of according recognition to Australian citizens and other persons for achievement or for meritorious service

Which basically means Tommy was presented with a medal, by order of the Queen of England, for his service in music to the people and youth of Australia

It is, ‘as good as it gets’

And I can’t think of another bloke more deserving

Congratulations Tommy

You make me proud to be an Aussie

I was going to say ‘Aussie Musician’

But I thought that’d be pushing it a bit

Well done mate!


*photos (stolen from) Gina’s facebook account