SUPA-FACE 2000
By JENNY TALIA
BOTH BARRELS MUSIC
Saw an add in a magazine for ‘Supa-Face 2000’
The latest discovery, in facelift technology
Thought, “I could sure use some of that now”
It’s not that I mind the laugh lines
Or the crows feet around me eyes
It’s these drooping lids and saggy bits
Making me look old and tired
So here I am at the doctors office
Laying face down on the bed
She said, “I have here the Supa-Face 2000
I will now insert the knob in the back of your neck”
“So from now on you won’t be looking like you’ve been
Shagging all night and hung out wet
You can give yourself a facelift
Just turn this knob on the back of you head
It will pull the skin up on your face
Make it a little more tight
Once a month though, no more than that
Don’t want you looking like Frankenstein’s Bride!”
So ‘bout an hour later off I went
With me ‘Supa-Face 2000’ installed
Had a bounce in me step and a dent in my wallet
But I was Queen of the World!
Caught me reflection in the window as I walked past
And thought to myself ‘“oh what the fuck”
Might as well try it out now
Just a little twist for luck
I could feel it working straight away
A little tingle all over me face
Looked at my reflection again
Holy Shit I’m a FUCKING BABE!
This ‘Supa-Face 2000” is a bloody miracle
And it didn’t even hurt
I’m an 11 outta 10 (that’s a 10 that swallows)
The blokes are gonna go berserk!
Time went on and I tried to be strong
But it was hard to resist
With each look in the mirror I couldn’t help myself
Just one more little twist
I went back to the doctor 2 weeks later
For me follow up visit
I told him, “Doc this thing amaaazing
I’m fucking in love with it”
“Only one thing I’ve notice though
I’ve started getting these bags under my eyes
I tried turning the knob
But they just seem to get bigger
Is there anything else I should try?”
“Let me see now…Hmmmm”
“Oh Miss Jenny you didn’t listen
You have given one too many twist
Those are not being bags under your eyes
My dear those are your tits!”
“Oh’ that’d explain the goatie then!”
