all I want for christmas..

So what are you guys hoping for this year?

A sleep in?

New undies?

On my kids Β list for Santa this year?

“A piece of a rainbow” – Macaroni

“Big boobs like Mummy” – Magoo


I really hadn’t thought about it

I’m too concerned with how to get a fucking chunk off a rainbow

And a boob job for a five year old

The kids have already made me some homemade gifts

Which are completely awesome – love them!

But there’s not really ‘one’ thing that I really wanted this year

I’m home

That’s always the best part about Christmas for me

Well, at least that’s what I thought

Until there was a knock on the door this morning

Remember this tweet?

Well I’d tried not to stew over it

If you don’t count daily expletive-filled-phone rants

And emails that could probably get me arrested for making threats

“you all need fucking with a pineapple, no lube” <– does that even count as a threat?

I was confident that it HAD to show up somewhere

Even if it was on Ebay

Someone would have a pretty hard time proving that it was their guitar

With a big old picture of MY BOOBS on the back of it


So, for those non-believers

Who doubt the power of the big red man at this time of year

I’m here to testify that…

Yes Vagina

There really IS a Santa Claus


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