implanted

Because I haven’t bitched about going to the dentist in like, 3 days or some kind of record like that

I thought it was time to get back into it

Someone really fucking observant said to me the other day, gee you go to the dentist a lot

And I’m like, NO SHIT SHERLOCK

For those of you just joining our broadcast

You can get up-to-date by reading THIS

And then THIS

OK – you with me?

Good

So now you know that I’m not hanging out at my dentist’s office ’cause I want to get into his 70 year old pants

I’m there ’cause somewhere along the line

When this whole dental implant thing got started

It didn’t work

I know there’s a technical explanation full of big ol’ fancy words for what went on

But what it boils down to is this

IT. DIDN’T. FUCKING. WORK.

So guess what happens now?

I-GET-TO-(and I only said yes because of the drugs)-GO-THROUGH-THE-WHOLE-PROCESS-AGAIN!

I know, how fucking cool is that NOT going to be?

So I’m back to looking like I’m from banjo country having no tooth again

They pulled the whole implant out yesterday

Scraped the bone out

And put in new bone

And yes, it feels just as awesome as it sounds

.

Now I wait a few months

Then go back to have the new implant put in

Get a new tooth made…blah…blah…fucking BLAH

So today, my face looks like the ugly side of a bashed in clam

And Diamond is cruising for a bruising and I will look like matching bookends if he doesn’t stop laughing at my misery

.

I guess I should be grateful that I didn’t get BOOB implants like I need to carry around a pair of those fuckers

Imagine this kind of fuck up with a set of ta-tas??

No, if I ever have the desire to look like a blow up doll got fake tits

I’d totally take in pictures so that the doc knew EXCACTLY what I was after

Natural looking ones

So I could still wear bathers

And exercise

Get behind the wheel

.

Let’s just get my teeth right first though

One thing at a time