Because I haven’t bitched about going to the dentist in like, 3 days or some kind of record like that
I thought it was time to get back into it
Someone really fucking observant said to me the other day, gee you go to the dentist a lot
And I’m like, NO SHIT SHERLOCK
For those of you just joining our broadcast
You can get up-to-date by reading THIS
And then THIS
OK – you with me?
So now you know that I’m not hanging out at my dentist’s office ’cause I want to get into his 70 year old pants
I’m there ’cause somewhere along the line
When this whole dental implant thing got started
It didn’t work
I know there’s a technical explanation full of big ol’ fancy words for what went on
But what it boils down to is this
IT. DIDN’T. FUCKING. WORK.
So guess what happens now?
I-GET-TO-(and I only said yes because of the drugs)-GO-THROUGH-THE-WHOLE-PROCESS-AGAIN!
I know, how fucking cool is that NOT going to be?
So I’m back to looking like I’m from banjo country having no tooth again
They pulled the whole implant out yesterday
Scraped the bone out
And put in new bone
And yes, it feels just as awesome as it sounds
Now I wait a few months
Then go back to have the new implant put in
Get a new tooth made…blah…blah…fucking BLAH
So today, my face looks like the ugly side of a bashed in clam
And Diamond is cruising for a bruising and I will look like matching bookends if he doesn’t stop laughing at my misery
I guess I should be grateful that I didn’t get BOOB implants like I need to carry around a pair of those fuckers
Imagine this kind of fuck up with a set of ta-tas??
No, if I ever have the desire to look like a blow up doll got fake tits
I’d totally take in pictures so that the doc knew EXCACTLY what I was after
Natural looking ones
So I could still wear bathers
Get behind the wheel
Let’s just get my teeth right first though
One thing at a time