You always here people say how much it sucks coming home from vacation
I never really understood that
I guess I always LOVED coming home after being away
But I’ve just come to realise that it’s been a while since I came back from an actual holiday
Like, a real VACATION
And since Daimond and I got home a few days ago from the Bahamas
I’m all like, hello real world
Don’t you just suck arse?
I mean, we were totally ready to come back
We missed the girls
They didn’t give a shit were having fun with Nanna
And don’t get me wrong, we had the trip of a lifetime
I’m talking, our own personal BUTLER for fuck’s sake
But a week was good, and we were more than ready to get home
Well aren’t we complete and utter fucktards?
‘Cause the real world blows CHUNKS I tell ya
Oh yeah, and who could forget the FUCKING CRAP WEATHER!
I’m totally getting how weird people just take off
Buy some land in the middle of butt-fuck-Idaho
I could do that I reckon
And I’d get Diamond to build me a schnazzy decked out farm house
And kiss civilization bah-bye!
Just me, Diamond, the girls, Fluffy & my laptop
I could totally do it
But then I think about the snow
That I love
And my friends
That I’d miss
And the schools
That I couldn’t live without – because the thought of me home-schooling my kids is just too fucking frightening to contemplate
And the shops
Oh, don’t even go there
And the Starbucks around the corner from my house?
Yeah, I’m not going ANYWHERE!
Or next month for the Queensland tour
Whichever comes first