back to earth

You always here people say how much it sucks coming home from vacation

I never really understood that

I guess I always LOVED coming home after being away

But I’ve just come to realise that it’s been a while since I came back from an actual holiday

Like, a real VACATION

And since Daimond and I got home a few days ago from the Bahamas

I’m all like, hello real world

Don’t you just suck arse?

I mean, we were totally ready to come back

We missed the girls

They didn’t give a shit were having fun with Nanna

And don’t get me wrong, we had the trip of a lifetime

I’m talking, our own personal BUTLER for fuck’s sake

But a week was good, and we were more than ready to get home

.

Well aren’t we complete and utter fucktards?

‘Cause the real world blows CHUNKS I tell ya

Traffic

Grumpy people

Crowds

Oh yeah, and who could forget the FUCKING CRAP WEATHER!

.

I’m totally getting how weird people just take off

Buy some land in the middle of butt-fuck-Idaho

I could do that I reckon

And I’d get Diamond to build me a schnazzy decked out farm house

And kiss civilization bah-bye!

Just me, Diamond, the girls, Fluffy & my laptop

I could totally do it

.

But then I think about the snow

That I love

And my friends

That I’d miss

And the schools

That I couldn’t live without – because the thought of me home-schooling my kids is just too fucking frightening to contemplate

And the shops

Oh, don’t even go there

And the Starbucks around the corner from my house?

Yeah, I’m not going ANYWHERE!

.

Until, like….forever!

Or next month for the Queensland tour

Whichever comes first