hotel for dogs

Our hotel in Hastings was pretty cool

But I didn’t a bit of a double take when we walked through reception

There was dogs all over the place

What is this fuckery?

All kinds of dogs too

I thought maybe I’d walked into the ‘International Unique Guide Dog’s’ Convention or something

The the lady that was checking us in told us it was a ‘dog friendly’ hotel

Oh good, you can stay, Dad said to mum

I’m not sure I’m a fan of the whole ‘take your dog everywhere’ movement that seems to be popular now

There’s dogs on planes, dogs in restaurants, and now dogs in hotels?

Nah, I’m not a fan

Especially when on my way to my room I trip over this ugly fucker

I know, in the eyes of his owner, he’s probably gorgeous blah, blah, blah

But I just don’t see it

I was thinking that the hotel would smell all ‘doggy’ and I’d be treading in shit

But you really didn’t notice them too much

Except if you wanted to use the pool

Or get an appointment at the hairdressers

And I’ve seen more than a few examples of owners who look like their dogs

Which I think is pretty true for the most part

Except with my dog

Cause I look nothing like Fluffy, do I?

Don’t fucking answer that, OK?