Parody by JENNY TALIA
Based on I WANT A HIPPOPOTAMUS FOR CHRISTMAS
By JOHN ROX
EDWIN H . MORRIS & COMPANY, A DIVISION OF MPL MUSIC PUBLISHING, INC. .
I want a new set of tits for Christmas
Just like the way they used to be
The tits I had are gone
Now they’re saggy and they’re long
I want set of fun bags you can play with all night long
I want a new set of tits for Christmas
Not like this warn out leather razor strops
What used to be me bust
Is now dragging in the dust
Like a handful of sand in a pair of footy socks
I can see me now on Christmas morning
Bouncing down the stairs
Oh what joy and what surprise
I’ll see in my husband’s eyes
When he spots my new tits pointing in the air
I want a new set of tits for Christmas
New tits are what I want so Santa please
New set of norks pointing to the north
Instead of pointing south and banging on me knees
Most girls ask for silicone
And silicone’s not bad
But pump mine full of helium
So the bastards never sag
I want a new set of tits for Christmas
And really piss the bingo girls right off
While they’re tucking there’s away
I’ll have mine on display
While they’re trying to hide their wrinkly tits
I’ll be showing off
Me husband says rub toilet paper ‘tween me tits
Real hard
Guaranteed to make ‘em big
‘Cause it’s working on me arse
And if I get me set of tits for Christmas
If me hubby foots the bill and pays the lot
Oh how happy we’ll both be
Under next year’s Christmas tree
I’ll save up all my change and buy him a new cock