driving miss daisy

So I drop my eldest daughter off to Gym class

Class runs for 50 minutes

I decide to use the time wisely by grabbing some things at the nearby Walmart, a coffee at the Dunkin Donuts opposite the Walmart – and before you can say “Mother Of The Year” – I’m back at the Gym in plenty of time for pick up

It should be noted that my average trip to Walmart lasts at least 90 minutes and is never under $100

So to be in and out in 35 minutes while only handing over $84 is a good day for me

Off to the Dunkin Donuts for the coffee. 

Pull into the drive-thru.

OK…..TRIED to pull into the drive-thru but was nearly sideswiped by some old fucking bat an elderly woman who had to have gotten her license out of a fucking cereal box no business being behind the wheel of a car

So after the near miss, she putted up to the window and proceeded to take a ridiculous amount of time to order. Seriously lady; coffee or donuts? Make a fucking decision. 

Needless to say I was getting pissed as I could see the minutes ticking away and my Mother of The Year award slipping out of my reach (for the 3rd time….this year!)

When I finally got to the window, I was proud of myself for keeping my cool. I didn’t rant to the kid taking my order about my rage at people with purple hair and their need to stay the hell home 24/7

When he said,

“Good morning,how are you today?”

The self controlled me said,

“Good – but I’d be better if Driving Miss Daisy up front had her shit together”

The look on his face said it all.


How was I to know it was his Grandma?


What’s the bet he spat in my coffee?


  1. BLOODY Rellos…Think they would just beg and plead for the no-show grandkid to stop by over the phone like regular Grandmothers! Little shit…Bet he spit in her coffee!

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