HORSES HOOF

Parody by JENNY TALIA

Here’s my story sad but true

‘Bout a guy I used to screw

When it was over my heart was broke

He went and left me for a bloke

Horses hoof

I fell in love with raging poof

No happily ever after

He’d rather do chocolate cha-cha

I should have known it from the very start

When I caught him wearing my mascara

And all the other weird shit he used to do

Like the time I caught him trying on my knee high boots

At family reunions the bloke’s would wanna hurl

Cause he’d be giggling in the kitchen with all of the girls

And when me gay cousin Bruce would come for a visit

He’d give him a hug and stick his tongue in with it

CHORUS

He took his own salads to work

Got disgusted if I burped

Like my makeup done just right

I let him do it once I looked like a transvestite

Here’s the moral of the story from a girl with regrets

I never got suspicious of his best friend Rex

Or the manicures he got, his Village People Mo’

And the time he got us tickets to see Kylie Minogue

He liked to drink white wine

Girly movies made him cry

The one time we went to the beach

He perved on the blokes arses more than me

They say that love is blind and hindsight’s 20/20

Didn’t see the signs before but now I see there were plenty

His lisp when he talked, the way he waved his arms

He walked like he was chewing bubble gum up his arse

CHORUS

Here’s the moral to the story from a girl who knows

If ya fella is a fag here’s some signs that show

So ladies let me help you be wise

If he shits when he farts, he’s rooting other guys