Just finished the soundcheck for tonight’s show
We’d been told earlier, that this area of land
Has the HIGHEST population (per square km) of reptiles
Yes, SNAKES and lizards ‘n shit
But mainly SNAKES
SNAKES that bite
Scaley fuckers that can KILL you
Where was I?
Oh yeah, so where I am, right now
And where I’m sleeping tonight
Is home to more fucking snakes than ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD
How come no one tells you this shit BEFORE you agree to the show
And then I see these dog-poo-picker-upper things each side of the stage
And assumed maybe they were for the dingo’s poo
‘Cause there’s bucket loads of those buggers out here too
But no, they’re there to pick up SNAKES
And put them in this
And no, I did NOT lift the lid to see if there was any in there
How could you even THINK that?
Gah, what is WRONG with you guys???
It’s like you WANT me to die.