Some of the venues we’ve played so far on this tour have been pretty lovely

All different

But all immacualte

FILLED with staff

That’s something that we see consistently backstage

Lots and LOTS of staff

For me to walk from backstage, out to the front, to see Mum at the merchandise desk

I would have people walking with me

Security don’t like you walking around by yourself

So at all times, there was at least 2 security guards with me

I’m sure this had NOTHING to do with them not trusting me

And the stolen hand towels incident from 2008

They WERE a gift, I swear

It felt a little weird being escorted everywhere

But it’s better than the alternative, right?

When we played the 2 Johannesburg shows

I was told that I had to have my own bodyguard

It sounded very unnecessary and completely weird

But those were the rules there

He was stationed outside my dressing room all night

I told him my real name was Whitney

And I’m pretty sure he loved hearing me belt out “I Will Always Love You” each night before the show

Warm ups ‘n shit

He has a beautiful African name that is crazy hard to pronounce

So I just called him Kevin

That’s Mr Costner to you

I’m singing this song today

And I blame my mother for playing this “music” non-stop when I was a kid

In fairness, I’ve met old Cliffy Baby a couple of times and he’s incredible lovely

And totally gay – but don’t tell Mum that. She’d be devastated, & I’d get a crack over the head

This is almost exactly what my vacation is looking like

Except no ones got an English accent or a red bus

In my summer holiday there’s a car, kids & possibly road rage

All made better by drinks with umbrellas in them