GROCERY SHOPPING BLUES
By JENNY TALIA & KEVIN BLOODY WILSON
BOTH BARRELS MUSIC
Woke up this morning
Dreading what’s headed my way
Got a list of things to do
And a list of things I’ve got to buy today
Got the down town – run around
Gotta do the grocery shopping blues
Done two laps of the car park
Can’t find a space
Fuck it, I;ll just park in the handicapped bay
I’m a woman on a mission
Got a lot of shopping I’ve got to do
Got the down town – don’t mess around
Gotta do the grocery shopping blues
Anyone who’s ever shopped
Knows just how it feels
Got the fucking trolley with the wonkiest wheel
And it’s pulling to the left
Lookout you lot – crazy lady coming through
Got the down town – wonky wheel
Fuck the trolley grocery shopping blues
Toilet paper, paper towels, toothpaste, pack of tissues
Washing powder, bleach ‘n’ soap, rubber gloves to do the dishes
Flea powder, kitty litter, bird seed to feed the budgie
Milk, cheese, eggs, bread, orange juice and low fat yogurt
Trolley’s nearly full
Haven’t even got to aisle two
Got the down town – run around
Got to do the grocery shopping blues
Some kid chucking a tantrum
Can’t stop me cart
Done his mum a favour
And ran over the bastard
Blame it on the trolley
Steers itself, nothing I could do
Got the down town – serves him right
Mongrel kid grocery shopping blues
Trolley steered me here
Now I’m in the fruit and veggie section
Squeezing, sniffing, poking, prodding
Help me make the right selection
Oranges and mandarins, peaches plums and nectarines
Sweet potato, cauliflower, carrots, corn and broccoli
Husband’s out of town
Better grab a cucumber too
Got the down town – run around
Got to do the grocery shopping blues
Pyramid of watermelons
Pried one loose
Now I’m up to me arse in fucking watermelon juice
Some arsehole on the intercom screaming
Clean up in aisle two
Got the down town – their fault
Should stacked them better
Grocery shopping blues
Rushed to the checkout
I’m all outta breath
I find I’m on the line for 10 items or less
Shit! Try and turn this cart around
And join another fucking queue
Got the down town – stuff me round
Wear me out
Grocery shopping blues
Finally it’s my turn to face the
Pimply checkout chick
Braces on her teeth and whopping
Purple hickey on her neck
Still training and complaining
That she really needs someone to guide her
Now she’s on the intercom
Calling for her supervisor
Price check KY gel
Jumbo sized tube
Got the down ton – embarrassed now
I’m outta here
Grocery shopping blues
Looking for me car
Find an empty space
Just in time to see the bastards
Towing it away
Phone rings, bags split
Eggs and shit oozing through me shoes
Got the down town – I’m done now
Until next week
Grocery shopping blues
Got the down town – can I go now?
Fuck the grocery shopping blues
