Woke up this morning

Dreading what’s headed my way

Got a list of things to do

And a list of things I’ve got to buy today

Got the down town – run around

Gotta do the grocery shopping blues

Done two laps of the car park

Can’t find a space

Fuck it, I;ll just park in the handicapped bay

I’m a woman on a mission

Got a lot of shopping I’ve got to do

Got the down town – don’t mess around

Gotta do the grocery shopping blues

Anyone who’s ever shopped

Knows just how it feels

Got the fucking trolley with the wonkiest wheel

And it’s pulling to the left

Lookout you lot – crazy lady coming through

Got the down town – wonky wheel

Fuck the trolley grocery shopping blues

Toilet paper, paper towels, toothpaste, pack of tissues

Washing powder, bleach ‘n’ soap, rubber gloves to do the dishes

Flea powder, kitty litter, bird seed to feed the budgie

Milk, cheese, eggs, bread, orange juice and low fat yogurt

Trolley’s nearly full

Haven’t even got to aisle two

Got the down town – run around

Got to do the grocery shopping blues

Some kid chucking a tantrum

Can’t stop me cart

Done his mum a favour

And ran over the bastard

Blame it on the trolley

Steers itself, nothing I could do

Got the down town – serves him right

Mongrel kid grocery shopping blues

Trolley steered me here

Now I’m in the fruit and veggie section

Squeezing, sniffing, poking, prodding

Help me make the right selection

Oranges and mandarins, peaches plums and nectarines

Sweet potato, cauliflower, carrots, corn and broccoli

Husband’s out of town

Better grab a cucumber too

Got the down town – run around

Got to do the grocery shopping blues

Pyramid of watermelons

Pried one loose

Now I’m up to me arse in fucking watermelon juice

Some arsehole on the intercom screaming

Clean up in aisle two

Got the down town – their fault

Should stacked them better

Grocery shopping blues

Rushed to the checkout

I’m all outta breath

I find I’m on the line for 10 items or less

Shit! Try and turn this cart around

And join another fucking queue

Got the down town – stuff me round

Wear me out

Grocery shopping blues

Finally it’s my turn to face the

Pimply checkout chick

Braces on her teeth and whopping

Purple hickey on her neck

Still training and complaining

That she really needs someone to guide her

Now she’s on the intercom

Calling for her supervisor

Price check KY gel

Jumbo sized tube

Got the down ton – embarrassed now

I’m outta here

Grocery shopping blues

Looking for me car

Find an empty space

Just in time to see the bastards

Towing it away

Phone rings, bags split

Eggs and shit oozing through me shoes

Got the down town – I’m done now

Until next week

Grocery shopping blues

Got the down town – can I go now?
Fuck the grocery shopping blues

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