does my bum look big in this?

This is a post I’ve debated writing for a while now
Mainly because I try to bring the funny, that’s my job
Fart jokes and rude songs, that’s me
Plus there’s already enough ‘real life grownup’ stuff out there
Who wants to read that here? Not I, said the freckly midget.
But over the last couple of months, I feel like there’s been lots of little signs, or things that have been quietly nudging me to put my ‘two cents’ in.
And really, this is s a topic that gets bashed TO DEATH in the media, bloggosphere and anywhere else people can sprout their opinions
So fuck it….what’s one more point of view on it?

I don’t really give a shit about my weight
No really, I don’t
Some days I care about it more than others
But as a rule, it doesn’t affect me too much
It has taken me YEARS to get to this point
Do I care about what I look like? Sure
Do I obsesss about it? No.
I recently got on a set of scales for the first time in years. I was heavier than I thought
I’m happy to report that I didn’t get off the scales with a plan to crash diet and sign up for boot camp. Not this time.
I was kind to myself and reasoned that my boobs weigh a shit tonn each….so I’m probably the perfect number.
I’m so over trying to make that number smaller
There was a time in my twenties where my weight was always on my mind
That was also a time where I was probably the skinniest I’d ever been
Not through diet and exercise
But through not eating much, chain smoking
And shitty relationships that undermined my sense of worth

I can tell you the two things that changed it all for me
Meeting my husband
Having someone that loves me….no really
Loves ME
My happiest times with my husband are spent laughing
Not dolled up and dressed to the nines, wearing two layers of spanx
But at home, sweats on, hanging out
My idea of sexy time
Does he find me attractive? Sure
But he also loved the shit out of me when I was over 115kgs, Β (yep, more than 250 pounds) which happened each time I pregnant with our girls (extra wow for a 5 foot girl)
And that was the other thing that changed me
Giving birth to our two daughters

Raising two humans (especially female ones) in a world that’s generally going to tell them they’re not perfect, worth it, or skinny enough, has me pretty determined to counter that with letting them know that everything about them is amazing
Who they are, how they live they’re lives, how they treat others and how they love…
THAT’S the important stuff I need them to know
They will also know that what size pants they wear is just not relevant, despite the images on TV, in magazines etc.. that they’ve been bombarded with since they were babies telling them the EXACT opposite
As long as they take care of themselves, and stay healthy – I could give two shits about the size of their arses

See, I can starve, diet, obsess about the body I don’t have
Or I can be sensible, exercise, still enjoy my fave foods and wine….and live the life I have now
There are so many who say it better than me, including my friend, the amazingΒ Brittany GibbonsΒ (seriously, check out her website, she’s fucking hilarious)
And I don’t for a minute think that there’s a bazillion girls, women, even men out there reading this, that will have it be a life changer for them
But I do know there are SOME of you that will read this and take notice
Case in point, a comment I received today:

“…you made me realize I didn’t need to breathe in my wedding dress and lose those extra kilos , didn’t diet the entire lead up to my wedding … Life is too short”

And reading it made me feel SO good, and even do a little fuck-yeah-fist-pump

We’re all different
We’ve all got something about us that NO ONE else has
WHY try and change yourself to be like everyone else
Big boobs?
Little Boobs
Wobbly belly
Flat belly
Go you!
No bum
JLo bum?
Fuck yeah!

Fuck focusing on what you don’t have….what you’d like to have
Just have a look at yourself and give yourself a break
A compliment
“Wow, I have a happy face” or “This belly may be more like a verandah, but it was also the belly that grew my babies in it”….how awesome is that?

There a people out there, right now, who would give everything to have what we bitch about
A terminal breast cancer patient would give her world to have HEALTHY boobs no matter HOW saggy they are
Every wrinkle means another birthday you get to be here for
Who wouldn’t want more wrinkles?

And don’t let all the photos you see online fuck with you
These days, it’s all about photshop, angles, lighting and filters
Case in point; here’s what a bad angle, baggy pants, and a bit of wind can do to your bum shape…
And the old me may have been bothered by the ‘fat arse’ comments that came when it got posted to Facebook.
But the NOW me knows that negative comments directed at me say so much more about the person saying them than they do about me
Do they sting a little? Sure they do
But I’m a big fan of not letting the people with no lives dictate how I live mine
Did I want to post the pic from 5 seconds later , when the wind wasn’t whipping through my willows, and my bum looked more normal?IMG_1149
Nope. Fuck Em
I know what my arse looks like
If I gave a fuck, I sure-as-shit wouldn’t be giving it to people who don’t know me, but feel the need to tell me I should lose weight
It’s ALL bout the anglesIMG_1151
But really, fuck the angles

Me, when I woke up this morning
Me, last week, face full of makeup
Good angle and InstagramΒ filter1461029_10152098257047495_962333456_n
Just woke up, makeup free, PJs and fuck it attitude
Hair, makeup, and again….good angleIMG_7702

It’s the season of giving
The best gift you can give this year is to yourself
Give yourself a break
Seriously….you deserve it

Plus….you look kinda hot today.



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  1. who cares what your weight is. Im fat and bald. So what. Sure I can go to a gym and eat healthy but would I be happy NO. Like you I just dont care. Healthy people have to die as well some day. Yes at times I wish I could loose a bit of my gut but it aint happening. We love you for you and your talent. You make us laugh and forget the worries of the world and simply have a good time with us. If you loose weight. will you be funnier? NO Will it make you more popular NO. WHO cares. As long as YOU are happy stuff the others. As a very famous little Aussie bloke said once D I L L I G A F. I live by it. Luv ya guts (and every other part of you as well.

  2. I reckon u look great.. screw the naysayers.. Living in the US and being on meds made me gain 40kg.. I hated my body.. but after reading that I realize I should feel great about my size and embrace the curves now..

    Thanks for being a positive role model xx

  3. That was such an amazing read and perfect timing, thank you. You’re gorgeous in all the photos, and how comfy do those PJ’s look! I struggle emotionally with the weight I’ve gained in the past few years, when as a teenager, I was slim, fit and so energetic all the time playing sport every second day and running every other day. Now, I do tennis once a week and the gym/swimming/boxing a couple of other days, and it has me beat. But even if I can’t get back to that body shape I had as a teenager – which chances are I won’t, because my woman body is different to my teenager body, I’m working on getting myself back to that point of being healthier.. and THAT’S what matters. My David makes me feel loved and my friends don’t care.. so why should I care about what I look like, as long as I am healthy.. which I am going by all my recent doctor result stats – and I’m working on the FIT side of things. It is hard though, when I think about myself physically and the only things I actually like are my fingernails and my nose lol. It’s easier to bag myself out, put myself down.. and it’s so hard not to compare to others. It’s hard to remember that I am actually a good person, when I feel so down about how I look.
    Anyway.. sorry, I didn’t mean to write a novel, but I’ve been thinking about this topic a lot lately since Dallas said to me “Think about if you knew 10 people, and 9 people said ‘You look nice today’, but one person said ‘You look like shit’, you’re going to remember the one negative comment over the 9 positive comments.” And that is so true.. we need to start focusing on the positive aspects of ourselves. But geez it’s hard.

    1. The best people in my life are there for what they bring…their friendship, their love. NOT ONE is there because of how cute and skinny they are. Although….most of my friends are pretty damn cute…you included!!

  4. Honestly I haven’t really notice your body size!
    When you sing …. I listen and I concentrate on where the sound is coming from … Your face … Which has a lot of different expressions on it! You blink and then you would miss a part of the act!
    When you smile the whole room lights up …. !
    You are the ultimate package … Enertaining, beautiful, funny and so down to earth!
    Don’t change ….. Because you wouldn’t be YOU!

  5. I’m a fat bastard (and proud of it) and yes you did single me out for that song,

    As we all mature we learn largely to look past a persons looks and instead judge them on their personalities, nobody looks like the women in magazines not even the women in them, famous people including Jamie Lee Curtis have complained about their images being photoshopped.

    Jenny you are beautiful both inside and out, you have great family.

  6. Hi Jen. OMG you can be serious sometimes……I knew you had it in you sweet heart. I loved reading that and so wish everyone could be happy in their skins. Have a fab Christmas…… eat, drink and then eat some more. Love ya loads and cannot wait to come and see you again xx

  7. I wish I could say I didn’t give a crap what people thought of me. When I had my 2 babies I got to my biggest 92kg but even when preg I was being called fat names.. I try every day to find my balance with weight kids and life but some days truly are harder then others.. From today this is going to change. Fuck em, I’m done with bad friends ( who I found out were offering and saying things were the ‘light version’s to get me off track from the gym) screw if I have weight 14 months after giving birth… Screw what others think (ill have to stop here cause I could go on and on and on about the bitchy people) .. Well tonight I will have a nice big fat glass of wine and toast to you.. P.s you have massive tits( you poor thing lol) awesome legs and a good arse (I don’t think I’m a prev lol)

    1. Sometimes you have to do a bit of ‘weeding’ in the garden of friendship to fuck of the fucktards. Just keep the good ones, the people that deserve your friendship.
      I reckon you’d be a pretty great friend to have x

  8. I am way fatter than you. And I am in the fat positive community. First time I went to a NAAFA (National Association To Advance Fat Acceptance) meeting, I heard one woman say to the friend who brought me “She’s not very big, is she?” I have cherished that ever since.

    Darlin’, I think you look AMAZING. And you are amazing, too. Even if you’re not very big!!

    1. It’s about saying, holy shit, how awesome am I? Deciding that for yourself, and not letting someone else for you
      PS – you’re pretty amazing yourself lady x

  9. Great post. Yep, one more opinion on a subject that’s being bashed to death but one of the best takes on it I’ve ever read – honest and personal, rather than theoretical and overanalysed – so I’m glad you decided to go for it! Hope to see you play next time you’re in the UK (and your dad too, if you can persuade him!) Wishing you and yours a great Christmas! x

  10. Hey Jenny, I have to admit I only discovered you when I took my partner (who is a huge fan of your Dad’s) to see you guys here in Melbourne recently. I loved you so much my partner snuck out in the break to get your CD and have it signed by you. I did not once look at you and think she needs to lose weight…..I thought wow here’s a chick who has it together, knows herself, owns everything that she is, will tell it like it is, walks with confidence, expresses herself and just has a damn bloody amazing smile and laughter to boot! We need more women out there who have the guts to just love who they are! You go girl!! πŸ™‚

  11. Well done Jenny, loved you before this and love you even more now. Who cares what we look like?? It’s all skin deep.

    Merry Christmas to you and yours. πŸ™‚

  12. Well im a rather large lad, & im very much a F.A.T.T.Y. {Fuck All The Tosspot Yobbos} Ive been called just about everything over the years, but they all say its in jest(duh!) It still hurts, but I grew numb to it sometime ago. Like yourself Jenny, I care about how I look, but do I worry? Not a chance! Im sure I will look like skinny after ive been in the ground a few months, so I can do all the dieting I need to do when Im dead! πŸ˜‰ Great post Jen & all the best to you & your family this Christmas. P.S. thank you for the many laughs & hope to see you on a UK tour soon xx

  13. Who gives a flying shit what people think,you are who you are and people should love you for being you not for what they want you to be,My hubby loves me for who i am,People can get so up themselves and it’s people like that who really piss me off,Don’t judge others without knowing them,My daughter is disabled as you know Jenny but she is bloody awesome just a shame people don’t see her for who she is,Any way Jen hope you hubby and the girls have a fab christmas xxx

      1. Yep she deffo takes after me and you cos yor awesome aswell,she is now writing her own songs and some of them are just as hilarious as yours,Have a fantabulous Christmas Jen and have a bottle of wine or 4 for me xxxx

  14. Well said beautiful girl, I am sending the link to all my friends, even the wowser ones!!! I have been this weight give or take a few pounds for the over 20 years, does not seem to make any difference what I eat or don’t eat or how much exercise I do, my body just likes being where it is and I have made peace with that. But the other person who lives in this house is one of those critical arseholes who still expects me to look like a 16 year old so you are very lucky to have a man like D, hang on to him real tight πŸ™‚ and BTW, your arse does not look big in anything, fuck the critics, we are all beautiful xxx

      1. Haha I just ignore him, he must not be able to see what’s in the mirror. Thanks for your lovely comment, like Kylie said earlier, we get lots of positive feedback but tend to focus on the negatives. Merry Christmas to you and all the family, give the old bugger a hug from me, hope we can coordinate our geographical locations some time soon xxx

      2. One of these days we’ll be in the same place! You’re the only person I know that travels more than I do!! Merry Christmas to you and the family KAT!! xx

  15. Well if it doesn’t happen in the next couple of years I will travel somewhere to MAKE it happen, won’t be the first time LOL, in the meantime, stay beautiful xxx I am home until the end of next month then back to WA for a couple of weeks, needing a Grandma fix sooooo bad πŸ™‚

    1. There is a song called “She don’t know she’s Beautiful” by Sammy Kershaw, look it up ….but don’t fuck it up too much LOL xxx

  16. Thanks Jen after reading this I feel so much better about myself. As a wife and mother to 2 very handsome boys I’m proud to say I’ve a mummy’s body. I’ve always been obsessed with what my body looks like, how fat I was, stretch marks wanting a boob job. The list was endless and now I just think fuck ’em. I too have a husband who loves me for who I am not because I’m some supermodel with big tits and stick thin figure. He married me for me (also no one else would have him lol) here’s to all women whether they be fat, thin,big arse, no arse, big tits or none! Love the life we live. Just look at Victoria beckham stick thin and married to the hotness that is david beckham and very rarely we see her smile, god love her she’s probably starving! Stay sexy Louise xx

  17. You are a beautiful person inside and out Jen! As I read this, it reminded me of a quote that I read very recently!

    She looked at herself in the mirror, made eye contact, and said out loud, “You are exactly perfect just the way you are and anyone who says different is a fool and a liar.” ~ Queenismsβ„’

  18. OMG That post makes it look entirely the wrong thing I am trying to say! What I actually mean is… we should ALL take a leaf from that quote! lol

  19. Well said! The difference between your way and the others is you have put some real raw honesty into it. It is not just girls who deal with image these days though..As a male I was bullied horrendously for being fat and ugly, ended up needing treatment for an eating disorder and depression..had a bad day yesterday and felt really down till I read this, even had me in tears, but I feel so great for reading this now..this was just the one thing I needed to read or hear.. Thank You for a kick up the ass and a boost today, you have no idea how much this post meant

  20. Who cares how much you weigh it’s the size of your heart and how happy you are that matters, you are an amazing women it doesn’t matter what people think it just shows how shallow they are if all they have to do is comment on someone else weight, i am 23 and a big girl i don’t care what people think i like my weight i am a happy person who is always smiling plus i have much more going on in my life to worry about a number on a scale, you bring so much joy and laughter to people with your songs and you have such a wonderful family that’s what people are jealous of and that’s why they make such stupid comments, i hope you and your family have a very Merry Christmas

  21. Hi Jenny followed you for few years now ( No I’m not a stalker ). This post you’ve put up is so true. I’m over weight drive a lorry eat in truck stops go home at weekend to my beautiful wife, I look in the mirror and think what the fuck does she see in me but their must be something were expecting our first baby soon. People judge me because I’m fat and at one time praised me when I used to play rugby. No training 15 hour shifts sat on my arse at work driving upto 10 hours in a day tends to put the pounds on. I just looked in mirror again after reading your comment and this is what I know see: I own my own home and land too, I’ve got a FOOKING JOB!!!!!!!!!, An Amazing wife who is giving life to our baby boy to be ( Feb 22nd ) life is good and fuck to the ones who try to make me become upset over my weight. As for YOU Jenny your right!!, know body is perfect, But my god your so close to perfection it’s hard to believe. Your hubby is 1 lucky man and your girls have a great mum. Love to you and your family this Christmas and all the luck in the world for 2014. And a message to all the negative bastards!, FUCK OFF
    Loves ya Jenny x

  22. *hugs* well said hun, from a fellow bbw. good on ya (ps u always look hot, “like a sunrise” πŸ˜‰ even without make up xxxxx) live it up, go you good thing

  23. I’ve been stick thin & as fat as a pig, currently I’m somewhere in between lol but the biggest ever boost to my self esteem and how I feel about what others see when they look at me came from my son. When he turned 21 this last August I was due to go out partying with him & his mates when I said to him that I’d most probably end up embarrassing him at some point during the evening when he just turned, looked me in the eye and said ” mum, it wouldn’t ever matter what you did you would NEVER embarrass me” & ended it with a hug πŸ™‚

    nuff said

      1. He certainly is Jen & he thinks you’re incredible too, we took him to see you & your Dad last time you did the UK and he had sore ribs for a week lol

  24. How could anyone with half a brain look at that airport photo and not realise it was just more than a bit breezy there that day.
    And it’s a crying shame that women get called fat because they don’t look like anorexic stick insects. No way are you fat and to anyone who says are…..Nihil illegitimi carborundum..

    As for me….well I am going to keep trying to lose weight but I certainly don’t obsess over it either.
    I am 5ft 11 and at the minute I want to go from squeezing into a size 16 down to being comfortable in a size 14.
    Not because society thinks I should be thinner…..but because it will be better for my health….because I have a wardrobe full of gawjuss clothes I can’t get into…and because I used to turn heads when I walked into a room a size 14. These days I seem to be invisible and I don’t like it at all lol

    1. you’re doing it for all the right reasons then Jill….can’t turn heads if you’re too unhealthy to leave the house. Good luck to you mate….I want some pics!! xx

  25. Jenny, you are truly a legend! I generally dont bother with make-up, the one time I did I had it done by a profesional and my fellas response was ‘What the fuck have you done to your face?’ sweatpants and snuggles beat anything else! πŸ™‚ x

  26. I agree with every word you said. My partner is a big girl and that doesn’t bother me one iota. I’d love her no what size she was. I know it’s a cliche but it is what’s on the inside that matters. Meeting her was probably the best thing that has happened to me and I am definitely a better person for it.

    Besides, I’m a bit on the lardy side so I’m in no position to comment on people’s size!

  27. Saw you on stage in Lowestoft and also bumped into you backstage and you are in no way fat and looked stunning. As for those who say you are fuck em and send them to specsavers

  28. OH great thanks you’ve just gone and given me ANOTHER reason to love you…geesh woman πŸ˜‰
    After a shitty 15 year marriage and 2 amazingly perfect wouldn’t change them for the world kids my body has taken a beating so the thought of hitting the meat market again has me terrified. I sure hope I manage by some miracle to find a man out there to see past all the lumps and bumps and just see ME (don’t spose Diamond has a brother? LOL) Thank you Jen as always I just love reading your posts. They ALWAYS make me laugh which is awesome therapy in itself but you also, more often than you will realise and probably intend, make me stop and think too. The way we treat ourselves, talk about ourselves especially our weight, teaches our daughters how to see THEMSELVES and I sure as heck want my daughter to see all the positives that she has to offer. THANK YOU!

  29. Hey Jenny, your old man should have named you NIGEL, coz you’re a farkin legend. I’m with you 100% on your post. Fark the haters, be yourself, no-one else is or can be. It would be a bat shit boring world if we were all the same!

    I was at your show in Perth 14th Dec, absolutely loved it, awesome show by 2 awesome, straight up, like it or fark off entertainers, we need more of it!!

  30. Hey TB! I fell in love with you the first time I saw you sing in the Carine SHS gym in ’87. It was pretty hard to get noticed by a year 12 as a skinny year 8, but I loved and still love your singing. From the Wham Bam Thankyou Band days thru to Saturday night in the front row at Crown in Perth.

    You still look great, even after the years and the kids. You were farkin funny and you still have a great voice! So you know what… FUCKEM!

    PS: your legs looked sen-say-shunal from my seat…two feet away…and the killer heels!

    Hope to see you in Perth again before too long.

    1. Thanks Nick….Carine High bred some alright kids, huh? I’ll be back in WA in March…not sure where yet. Will keep you posted….Have a great Christmas xx

  31. u look fab the way u are Jen, as long as ur happy and healthy that’s all that matters and u have family friends and fans who luv u πŸ™‚ xx

  32. as a guy i can say for me anyway thet there is nothing worse than the bums on so called models these days, not a thing to get a grip of, it is horrifying the way models are getting bonier and bonier, if your naturally skinny fine, if your bigger fine, really who gives a damn apart from those arseholes who make clothes for an imaginary ideal that barely 5% of the population has any relation to.
    personally i think your bum is gorgeous and well worth a feel πŸ˜‰

  33. Very well said Jen unfortantly we live in a society where people prejudge each other without knowing facts. It is sad. I have gone from being “plump” to quite skinny. A small size 8 as you have seen yourself but yet I have had strangers actually come up to me and tell me I need to start eating or omg are you anorexic. No I am not anorexic I have a terminal illness but even if I was anorexic it is no one elses business but my own. People should not assume and should not make judgements on others without knowing facts first. I am happy to be who I am and the weight I am as I know I cant do anything about it so why stress and make myself more sicker over worrying about something thats out of my control. Its not the weight thats the issues its people’s negativity. When I saw you and your dad in mandurah I thought you was beautiful. I didnt see any fat on you nor did I see a fat bum. I saw a very talented down to earth compassionate loving lady who was very clever and loved what she did and loved her family. That to me is the only way to be. You are so positive Jen you are an inspiration to all. My hubby says its not the saying does my bum look big in these jeans its actually does my arse make these jeans look fat. Lol I dont care if I am fat thin plump or was even anorexic coz at least why I am any of these I am still breathing and still alive and my family still have me around. Negative people should just FOCUS!! Lol
    Have a great xmas to you and all your family and friends hun even tho im a bit jelly about you having a white xmas. Xx

  34. Hi Jenny, Well said and if it will help a few girls feel happier with themselves all the better. We love our partners for who they are. Must say though the couple of times I’ve seen you in Cork you were stunning

  35. In whatever light, from whatever angle, filters or no filters, makeup or no makeup, professionally shot or self taken… are stunning!

    You are the person you are and nobody has the right to tell you different, or undermine your self worth just to make you feel the need to change.

    I admit I haven’t read all the comments but if there’s not a D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F in there somewhere then there should be.

    Hope to see your show back in the UK soon.

  36. fuck everyone as long as your ok & healthy,happy the way you are who is anyone to say how you should look, just say Focus you no the score

  37. Jenny I was laughing and teary at the same time.
    This is a wonderful post and you are fabulous and gorgeous. And you are so right, by obsessing about what we don’t have, we miss out on all the wonderful things we do have.
    Wishing you a very happy Christmas with your family and loved ones xxxx

  38. oh wow how brave- a skinny girl with no stretch marks showing off her bikini bod. hey self, jealous much? oh why yes, yes i am! I get it though. I do. I am a size 6 with issues that my bigger friends hate to hear about. they don’t get it, they don’t want to hear it and they have no sympathy or empathy. i say yeah but i have stretch marks and a roll and cellulite and they’re like shutthefuckupbeforeishovemyfootupyourass! so i guess after reading your post i know how they feel :)you look great. you can not only pull off the look, it would be silly if you wore anything else.

  39. You mean you don’t wake up looking instagrammed???
    You mean you’re ‘normal’?
    Love your confidence and your attitude to life… You are pretty and hot! Don’t change a thing

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