stick your stickers

I’ve never really understood people’s need to cover their car in stickers

Like I want the opinion of a stranger, when I’m looking at his arse at a red light

Because 9 times out of 10, I don’t agree with their crap and slogans and political points of view

And by the time that light turns green, I’m ready to ram ’em

Or at least gun it past them while giving them my best DILLIGAF salute

And then came these..

The ‘stick figure family stickers’

I know you’ve seen them

They’re fucking everywhere

And yes, I  hate them

Very, very much

I don’t understand the point of these

None of my friends have them on their cars because they’re fucking normal so I can’t ask them

Do any of YOU guys have them?

I promise not to give you shit if you can explain the purpose of them to me

‘Cause I do not, for the life of me, understand WHY you would put stickers on the back of your car to indicate how many kids / dogs / husbands you have

Maybe I’m being a bit Judgy McJudgston over here (how unusual)

But they just come across as really stupid

And then you see people who are all, well I WANT stick family stickers on my car too

But mine are going to be cool ones!

No they’re NOT

Just fucking STOP it

Really….who gives a fuck?

Not me

I don’t give a shit how many people you popped out your vag

Or how many pets you have

Cars are for driving

Not for talking on phone

Not for eating your meals in

Or doing your make up

And not NOT NOT for showing the car behind you a 2D drawing (that a 3 year could do better) of whoever the fuck has the same last name as you 

I realise it’s a bit tragic just how irritated these make me

I hope they’re a fad that dies a sudden death and never gets repeated

Unlike fluro leg warmers and side ponytails

Which, it turns out, are even MORE fab the second time around

Especially for soccer mums / comedians / opinionated moles like myself


And no, you can’t see a photo of me right now 


  1. I have a stick family sticker but mines of a stick man shooting another and it reads “F**k you stick family” I hate them and theyre everywhere

  2. You’ve made Petes day!!! He hates those stickers! But he reckons u need a true nuclear family…. Lots of different wives snd husbands all shagging each other! He is now ranting about these stickers while he is in the shower ” there is something psychologically wrong with these people…. Screwed up mother fuckers with stickers”….. Aaahhhhhh you’ve made his day…. Now I’ve just gotta listen to it for the next week! Lucky I love ya!!! Xxxxx

  3. i have a few stickers …one says “i love my jennytalia….the other says “dilligaf” …and the 3rd is a dinosaur eating a stick figure family member and titled i fuckin ate your stupid family ….my man has one stick figure man shooting the others sayin no one gives a f***k about you family ….my sorta stickers

  4. I KNEW we had some common ground … besides the whole chardonnay, Baileys thing. I do have a sticker advertising our breed of cattle. But it’s groovy and silver (a little like me!). So that makes it okay.

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