siri speaks (shit)

So I got me the new iPhone

It’s pretty cool

The battery doesn’t seem to last as long as it did in my old one

But that is more than made up for by the new phone having SIRI

Ah Siri

Here’s how she is ‘officially’ described

Siri on iPhone 4S lets you use your voice to send messages, schedule meetings, place phone calls, and more. Ask Siri to do things just by talking the way you talk. Siri understands what you say, knows what you mean, and even talks back. Siri is so easy to use and does so much, you’ll keep finding more and more ways to use it.

Firstly, let me say that I was excited to have a voice recognition gadget that I didn’t have to fake an American accent for. Hello EVERY company’s automated phone directory that never fucking understand me

Of course, it didn’t take me long to start fucking with Siri

Asking her all sorts of personal shit

Actually Magoo was the first

Asking Siri what her favourite colour was

And I was like…..ooooh…this could be F-U-N!

Diamond wanted to know, why DID the chicken cross the road?

Well played Siri

Macaroni wanted in too

She asked Siri if she knew any good jokes

Ha,  apparently Siri’s got a sense of humour


But when I wanted Siri to answer MY questions….

Siri, do you think I’m funny?

What? You answered everyone else’s questions

OK, what about…where do you live Siri?

Nice….vague….but nice

What do you look like

Um, yeah….it kinda does. I don’t want to be the one person with the ‘ugly’ Siri on their phone

I think you might have a bit of bitch in you Siri

And PMS too apparently

Do you think I should dye my hair dark again Siri?

Work? This is very important Siri. This is the kind of shit I need ANSWERS to girlfriend

Gah…now you made me go and google arbitrary. I think if you’re going to use words I don’t understand, like exercise or low fat, or arbitrary – you should give me the definition too

Are you fucking with me Siri?

You ARE fucking with me!

Aren’t you supposed to be NICE to me? And HELP me? ‘Cause right now, all you’re doing is my head in

I don’t know why they called you Siri. They should have called you Nasty, or Bitchy

Or Cunt.











One comment

  1. Is there a ‘salty’ setting for Siri? You know: American, English, Australian or salty? That’s the one you are after I believe! (She doesn’t have the advantage of google for words that are too hard!)

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