Walking down the main street in Chatham today I saw not one, but two different women
Hit their kids
Maybe just a year or so old
Now, I’m not here to lecture people on how to raise your kids
That’s your business
But if you take your kids out in public, and you crack them in the head IN FRONT OF ME, you’re damn fucking straight going to get a mouthful from me
Takes a BIG PERSON to hit a tiny defenseless child
Now, I know kids can do your head in sometimes
But what I saw was in NO WAY a case of kids being naughty
It was the mum’s who needed fucking up the arse with a pineapple the dicipline
The mum is on the phone, cigarrette in her hand, blabbing to someone who is no doubt ALSO a fucktard about how her boyfriend didn’t come home last night, and she waited up until 4 in the morning for him. And now she’s SOOOOO shattered and needs a nap
Then her little boy in the stroller is starting to cry
He’s probably about 18 months old
She ignores him
He cries a bit more
Obviously the person on the other end of the phone is asking why the baby is crying
Oh I dunno, she says. Probably hungry I reckon. Little bastard’s always hungry
Kid cries louder, and she puts the cigarette in her mouth (to free up one of her hands) bends down, and cracks the little boy over the head
Shut your whinging, she said to him
OH MY GOD IF DIDN”T TAKE EVERYTHING I HAD NOT TO CHARGE UP AND BEAT THE LEAVING SHIT OUT OF THIS FUCKING WOMAN
Your kid is fucking hungry lady. You’re going to hit him for being hungry?
‘Cause you’re tired because you waited up all night for your loser boyfriend, who was no doubt out getting his end away somewhere else, ’cause you’re such a fucking catch
It’s times like this I wish I possessed magic powers
Like Barbara Eden in I DREAM OF GENIE
Just one blink from me, and this woman, the QUEEN OF ALL FUCKTARDS, would have her womb burst into flames and the ashes would come puffing out her vajay-jay and she’d spend the rest of her life blowing smoke rings every time she bent over
And she’d never be able to have more kids – ’cause she’s such an awesome parent, you know?
Kinda paints a nice visual doesn’t it?
And as for the second lady
I told her I would kick her arse until her nose bled, if I saw her hit her daughter again
She told me to fuck off
Anyhooo, if you see the police show up at tonight’s show
Just hide me out the back somewhere could you?
Apparently one of the conditions of my parole is I’m not allowed to run over people in my car