Have you seen some of the “Shit [insert something] Says” videos piling up on YouTube?

I’ve been laughing my arse off at a lot of them

My faves are this one and this one

Then my mate Marty suggested I give it a go so you can blame her for this

It didn’t take me long to figure out who would be saying the ‘shit’ in my vid

And before the bogans of the world get all spewy with me for taking the piss

Remember, I’m from Kalgoorlie

Where bogans were  INVENTED

Well, this just about made my day

Hello from ant1mat3rie on Vimeo.

I should maybe call this ‘shit’ pic, not hit pic

Cause it’s Macaroni’s turn to have the gastro bug that hit Macaroni & me last week

She’s been a trooper about it though

And by trooper, I mean WAY better at puking than Magoo. Like, no mess anywhere. Nada. Awesomesauce

Which is WAY better than puke-sauce. In pink shag pile carpet. I’m talking to YOU Magoo

Macaroni even survived me not letting her go to school

Yay for iPads, DSs, fishtanks & Kindles

And jigsaw puzzles, that I offered to sit down and help her with but, “…Mum, it’s really a lot easier and faster if you don’t help”

Oh, and yay for me. Who went out in the sub-freezing temps and snow, to meet Macaroni’s teacher and pick up today’s school work for her.

Because I offered to get her anything she wanted today. Chicken soup maybe?

Nope, she chose math & literature

So even without going to school, she sat and did hours of school work

By choice

Not sure where she gets the ‘learn-y’ gene from. But boy, does she have it bad

With me being Captain Pukey McShitmapants last Tuesday, Magoo on Friday and Macaroni starting last night

My calculations tell me that Diamond will be having the *MAN version of said ‘bug’ later this week

Guess I better notify the hospital

*pussy

I’ve been bordering on MIA with the posting of late

Was it the kids going back to school?

Or maybe a bout of gastro that wiped Magoo & I out – but at least got our post Christmas house, bleached, disinfected and spotless once again

Am I just being lazy?

It’s kind of a bit of everything

But mainly, it’s this

See, I found a way for me to stay on the treadmill for more than 8 minutes, before giving up in boredom….AND use the much neglected iPad

I found Sons of Anarchy on Netflix. And for someone that doesn’t watch television, I have FALLEN HARD.

Like, I totally understand how housewives don’t shower, ignore their families, live in sweat pants, survive on take out, and let their whole world revolve around their favourite  TV shows

My fucking God. Have you seen this show? You probably have. Because apparently the rest of the world has already known about this shit for years. It’s won Emmys, has crazy high ratings, and is heading into it’s 5th season this year, while I have been oblivious

I usually can’t sit still enough to watch episode of any show. I get fidgety, my ADD kicks in, and I head off to start and unfinish something else

But this, this is my crack, my latest obsession and possibly my downfall

I started just watching half an episode each morning on the treadmill. Which lasted 3 days. Until I caved and started carrying the iPad around like an appendage.

Cook dinner with one arm. Hold iPad and watch SOA at the same time, you get the idea. Basically, things that require 2 arms, or my full attention, are fucked until I’m up-to-date with this show

I’ve become that lady; in her pyjamas, headphones on (they swear like motherfuckers, so yeah, not for kids this one) glass of wine in one hand, iPad in the other and yell at the screen. And sometimes cry.

I do so.

I’m almost done watching the second season and I actually have a headache from all the non-stop TV watching

Once I’ve caught up on the show, I have to wait until FUCKING SEPTEMBER before the new season starts. Then watch it once a week, with ads. Like normal people.

Fuck.

Diamond says I only watch it for the blonde hottie that plays Jax

I assured him that blonde boys have never been my type except David Beckham

Plus, he may look dreamy in a biker jacket

But I bet dude wouldn’t have a clue how to build an igloo

Now, where’s the fucking iPad?