cramming it all in

After all the fucking around by Qantas stress and tears

I DID make it home in time for my mother-in-law’s birthday party

I arrived just in time to see Diamond & his brother nearly blow themselves up set of an amazing fireworks display

It was loud, huge and awesome

And totally illegal

But Diamond’s been running from the police doing this since he was a kid

And had it timed to be finished before the police showed up

It was all over with 30 seconds to spare

So I started my week off with a BIG bang and some fireworks

And haven’t stopped since

Back to school shopping

Because I am so incredibly organised

OK, whatever

Because the girls and I leave soon, and won’t be back ’til school starts and the shops will totally have run out of all the shit I need which will completely fuck with my plans to start the school year off as the Mum with her shit together the mostest

So there’s been back to school eye tests, dental checks and physicals

All passed with flying colors

Does this mean I get a refund on school fees the first time they come home with some kind of bug/flu/cold for the year?

Imma gonna need that in writing thankyouverymuch

There’s been play dates at the park

The weather’s been amazing since I got home

Total swimming weather

Too bad I wouldn’t be caught dead I can’t find my bathers


My nephew and (only) niece have been in from Arizona

Who Macaroni and Magoo ADORE

I have forty-hundred cousins

And the girls only have 6

They get such a thrill when they can spend time with any of them

So there’s been sleepovers, water gun wars, swimming and lots of fun

And s’mores!

And because this weekend is the 4th July weekend over here

That means more parties and fireworks

The legal kind

And drinking

I’ve gone through more Yellow Tail this week than I normally go through in a month

Wine with lunch, in the arvo, with dinner, after dinner

And yes possibly right now with breakfast

Because it’s 10:42 at NIGHT in New Zealand right now

What are you…the fun police?

It’s called DENIAL jet-lag, people!



keeping you (& me) up-to-date

If you’ve *LIKED* my FAN PAGE on Facebook already

Then you can ignore this post!

If you haven’t *LIKED*  my FAN PAGE yet

What’s up with that?

I forgive you not really

Just click on the link RIGHT HERE

And just click the *LIKE* button next to my name

There’s a mini jukebox on the page

Which is great for all the people too cool for MySpace to have a listen to some of my stuff

Especially at work or around small children

Because you know, it’s TOTALLY appropriate

Then if you’re all *LIKED* up

You can add yourself to the mailing list

See the box on the left hand column (of this page) that looks like this?

Where it says “NEWSLETTER” – just add your email address there

And you’ll get dirty pictures & jokes an email whenever new tour dates are added

And will be the first to know when new albums & dvds are coming out

Why do you think I’m packing right now?


I just got an email telling me that I’m playing in the Northern Territory next week!

Otherwise I would have completely forgotten

Oh, you may laugh

But let me tell you, it is TOTALLY possible to go to the airport on the wrong day

And fly to the wrong country

I nearly did it last year!

Yep, there are people out there THAT stupid

Scary isn’t it?