read the signs

Lots of signs on this last trip

Starting with this one (that I saw at 14 different airports)

There were signs that made me change my mind about driving

And signs that made  me smile with relief and uncross my legs

Signs that made my mouth water and my pants tighter

Little signs to sign

Big signs to sign

Signs to show your sluttinesss

Signs to show where you popped out of your mum’s vaja jay your beginnings

Signs to show your parents they wasted their money

OK, so this is more like a key than a sign

But I think it’s a sign that you’re staying in a  really cool hotel

And signs that make me glad I can read

Signs that taught me that there’s a definite lack of originality when it comes to naming crocodiles

Signs that tell me it’s a good thing I didn’t bring my bathers

And signs that make me hope like fuck that the person next to me on the plane can read too and doesn’t eat carrots

Signs that basically let you know, if you can pronounce it, you can enter

I stayed in the car

Signs that make my Mum very happy

Signs that make me feel welcome despite the lethal looking spear

Signs that make me think that this isn’t my fucking job glad I passed biology

Signs that make me drink more aren’t good for self esteem

Signs that continually remind me, that if you get eaten by a crocodile in this part of the world

I’m pretty sure you’re a completely blind fucktard it’s your own fucking stupid fault. Can’t you READ?

And lastly,

Signs that should help me to lose some fucking weight eat less

I said  SHOULD