dick pic, june 26, twenty twelve

As someone who swears for a living – I like to think that I know ‘how’ to cuss. It’s hereditary.
More importantly, I reckon I know WHEN to do it
Like, NOT in front of my kids if I can help it
And not in front of people who it may offend
Luckily, my mates couldn’t give a toss – allowing me shitloads of freedom to say whatever the fuck I want
So when I take my kids to their first ever baseball game
I’m not a fan of having to sit behind some wank-stain with this sticker on his back

Next to his girlfriend with ‘FUCK THIS SHIT” written on the front of her cap
Full disclosure: it was Mullet Night at the game, raising money for charity
But I don’t think at a family venue, you need to add the language to your outfit
You can just be a redneck, without having to be a FUCKING redneck, you know?

Call me a prude, whatevs.
Time and place. Time and place.

So, of course Magoo picks that moment to share her newly found reading skills,  and starts saying, “…don’t be a dick….don’t be a dick”
Then, “…Mum, what’s a dick?”
I told her, “…see the man with the sign on his back? THAT, is a dick”
She’s like, “…ewww, I don’t ever want to be a dick and look like that”

Followed by Macaroni, with the quote of the night

“…tell that to Miley Cyrus’ Dad”