two minute memories

Magoo loves many, many things in this world

But nothing comes before her animals and two minute noodles

While she gets unlimited time with her pets
We’re a bit more strict on the two minute noodles
She gets those almost never
Being that they are about as nutritious as a maxi pad
Even though they are yum
I loved them as a kid too
The noodles that is
Never actually tasted a maxi pad

So, even though I’m pretty sure this is a load of crapola
I showed it to her
Because I like to see her cry am an arsehole599065_211403598992640_1420870395_n

 

I’m not joking when I say she had the sads for hours
Even when I said, look, it’s probably not true and you can still have them sometimes

And she was like, “and eat the cancer?!?”

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If she’s this dramatic at 8
The teenage her is going to be oh-my-God-fuck-that-I-can’t-even-think-about-it

PS – I keep all her texts. Imma make a funny-as-shit book out of them and sell them to pay for college.
Or therapy.
Probably mostly therapy.

 

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MORE QUEENSLAND SHOWS ADDED!

In addition to playing at this year’s GYMPIE MUSTER August 28th & 29th
Followed by a sure to shit hot show in KALLANGUR August 30th (that’s on it’s way to be sold out…huzzah!)

gympie muster 2014

I’m out to prove just how much I love me some Queensland
We’ve just added FIVE MORE shows this year!
Can I get a fuck yeah?

November is shaping up to be a big ‘n’
Especially with a two week New Zealand Tour in the works…. (more deets coming SOON!)
To make it even more ridonkulous, I’m going to do the FIVE Queensland shows on my way TO New Zealand
‘Cause Queensland on the way to NZ, right?
Don’t answer that.

I’m stupidly excited about these shows, you guys!

Wednesday 12th November SPRINGWOOD HOTEL (Springwood)
Thursday 13th November RACEHORSE HOTEL (Booval)
Friday 14th November BROOK HOTEL (Mitchelton)
Saturday 15th November HINTERLAND HOTEL (Nerang)
Sunday 16th November BUDERIM TAVERN (Buderim)

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Contact the venues for tickets!

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adelaide awesomeness

While I was in Adelaide, I stayed with my fabulous mates Lauren and Adam
Lauren has her own studio (Studio Fifteen) - hair, makeup, nails, waxing, massage….they do the lot!

lauren

They talented peeps even made me purdy before my show
It’s the coolest place on earth to be girly and pampered
And then, beat this, Adam is a wine distributer
That’s right, you can get your hair did AND have a wine
Really good wine too (Swire & Noble)
Even though I put ice in it

You can’t polish a turd
But you can roll it in glitter
And this sparkly turd HAS to have ice in her red wine
Sorry.
Not sorry.

studio15

It was a good thing my fake eye lashing were so dazzlingly distracting
Because I forgot all the ‘top halves’ of my stage clothes
And had to go onstage with my sparkly pants, stripper heels
And the jumper (sweater) I’d been wearing all day
Holy bucks of Jesus (thanks Kerru) I was sweating my arse off

Also?
So completely and totally worth it
If I could bundle that Adelaide crowd up on a bus and take them with me everywhere
I so would
They were loud, they were listeners
And hooly dooly were they singers
Just fucking awesome
And such a brilliant end to the touradelaide2014
I’m already planning my return trip!

Next (after heading home and seeing my HUSBAND!!!) is Victoria, Tasmania, the Gympie Muster and Kallangur – starting next month

CLICK HERE TO SEE ALL UPCOMING TOUR DATES

Thanks RADelaide, and especially Lauren and Ads – you guys are the best xx

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