We’ve been making our way through North Queensland for nearly two weeks now

Leaving our mark at public toilets across the state

With a trail of “I Love My Jenny Talia” stickers

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We’ve been lucky to stay in some beautiful places

Mackay was definitely one of those

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And as with every tour, we’ve been loving meeting some of the mad buggers that have come out to the shows

Like Kim – whose jeans now how my scribble on the bum

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And this lovely lady

It actually took me a while to recover from the shock of meeting her

And realising that I’d finally been “OUT-blinged” by someone

But I’ve already started stocking up on glitter & sparkly things

My plan is to blow her out of the water on the next tour through these parts

Nicely of course

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There’s been whole families come along to the show

And that makes me happy

You know, knowing my family is not the only fucked-up one out there

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This has been my favourite shirt of the tour so far

A guy actually came to the show wearing this same shirt in the UK last year

I told him I loved it, so he GAVE it to me

OK, I may have begged a little

So Mark was lucky, he got to keep his

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We’ve met some lovely people, like Matthew & Leanne is Innisfail

(& yeah, the main reason I put this pic in is because I’m the 2nd tallest one in it. Check THAT shit out!)

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And some crazy bastards like this mob in Ingham

HELLUP!

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Then last night in Atherton, we had a BELLY-FEST

Lots of boys wanted me to leave my mark on their gut

As they competed with each other in trying to convince me that “their” abs were better than their mates

Um…yeah I beg to differ in this case

While they had a *’how rock hard are my abs’ comp going on between them

(*code for  ’how soft is my peen)

I was running out of things to scrawl on them

They were all pretty wasted

So I’m hoping they wake up this morning, trying to put together the pieces of last night’s puzzle

And start questioning their sexuality

That would make me so happy

I was reading an article at The Med Guru

‘Cause you know, I’m ALL ABOUT reading up on the latest health tips they have to offer

And hangover cures

The story I found was about how men that stare at women’s boobs,  can add years to their lives

And I was all, what is this fuckery?

And did Diamond write this shit?

A German study (like we didn’t already know the Germans were nork-lovers) said that men who ogle at the breasts of women daily exhibited lower blood pressure, slower resting pulse rates and lesser episodes of coronary artery disease

It went on to say that their study indicates that engaging in this activity a few minutes daily cuts the risk of stroke

But I bet it INCREASES the rate of STROK-ING

The bad news in all of this?

That the extra few years added to your life aren’t going to mean shit, when your wife catches you perving at other women’s tits, boys

And your new-found horny-ness is useless when you’re sleeping in the doghouse

Or in extreme cases, left without a penis

But the good news?

My Dad is going to live forever!

And EVER!

YAY!