Magoo loves many, many things in this world
But nothing comes before her animals and two minute noodles
While she gets unlimited time with her pets
We’re a bit more strict on the two minute noodles
She gets those almost never
Being that they are about as nutritious as a maxi pad
Even though they are yum
I loved them as a kid too
The noodles that is
Never actually tasted a maxi pad
So, even though I’m pretty sure this is a load of crapola
I showed it to her
Because I like to see her cry am an arsehole
I’m not joking when I say she had the sads for hours
Even when I said, look, it’s probably not true and you can still have them sometimes
And she was like, “and eat the cancer?!?”
If she’s this dramatic at 8
The teenage her is going to be oh-my-God-fuck-that-I-can’t-even-think-about-it
PS – I keep all her texts. Imma make a funny-as-shit book out of them and sell them to pay for college.
Or therapy.
Probably mostly therapy.
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