snot, spring break, set lists and shhhhh I’m taking a nap

So, there’s 3 more sleeps until my first ever STAGEIT show.
And I have bronchitis.
Now, it should be said that I never really accepted bronchitis as a ‘real thing’
I used to go to school with a girl that was always home with ‘bronchitis’
And her boyfriend was always absent with it too.
So of course I thought bronchitis was some kind of code for ‘blow job’
Turns out, bronchitis is code for constant chest pounding coughing and general ‘I’m probably dying-ness’
Diamond WISHES it was blowjobs keeping him up at night
Instead, he gets, ‘water, I need water…more pillows…tell my Mum I love her’stageit flyer
But…I’m doing all the right things, and plan to be good to go by showtime Saturday.
There’s a good chance I’ll even change out of my PJs and shower too.
The set list is up to you guys, which is a good plan
Because every time I take a sip of the Jesus Juice that the doctor prescribed, I want to bust out some Salt ‘N’ Pepper or Neil Diamond.
A set list composed by me would be very weird right now.

Another reason to want to get rid of this lurgy….SPRING BREAK!
Not wet t-shirt, beer bong spring break.
This is more, we’ve got kids and are supposed to take them with us when we go places now
So, skiing it is.
Outside…in the snow….temperatures hovering at zero all week
PERFECT for getting over whatever ails you
Unless what ails you is bronchial and cold air makes you hack up.
When I booked it, I had visions of me in a cute ski suit, drinking hot chocolate by the lodge fire, regaling other guests with my stories and photos of me mastering the most advanced slopes on offer. All while patting a St Bernard that lay dozing at my feet.
Realistically, it’s shaping up to be me and my camera, bottom of all slopes, taking photos of Diamond and the girls skiing up a storm….while I hold my flask of lemsip, using the lid to deposit lung oysters the cold air makes me cough up. With the odd ‘fuck off’ tossed at whoever wants to come up and say hello.
It IS my birthday while we’re there, though
So, cake.
Cake makes everything better.

So, here’s what I need…
Besides these Jesus Juice hallucinations to stop (last one had me dropping the kids off to school in my bathing suit….oh wait…)
I need you guys to create the set list
Remembering that the show is only 30 minutes long
But I’ll be able to throw in songs from the new album, Fuck It Up Fridays….
Whatever you choose…

Leave a comment here, with your ideas, suggestionsΒ and cures for this bronchial bullshit
I’ll pick one, and send that peep out a copy of myΒ new cd F.O.C.U.S.
FOCUS DRAFT 2
I’ll announce the winner during the STAGEIT show

CLICK HERE TO BUY YOUR TICKET TO THE STAGEIT SHOW
CLICK HERE TO BUY YOUR TICKET TO THE STAGEIT SHOW
CLICK HERE TO BUY YOUR TICKET TO THE STAGEIT SHOW

 

10 comments

  1. My favourite songs of your are:

    FOCUS
    Wait
    50 shades
    Parasites
    Fuck it
    Bastard song
    Camel toe
    Horse hoof
    Wax now wax off
    10 things
    Take it like a man
    Chocolates better than sex

    There’s a lot of songs there and very hard to choose because I love all your songs

  2. Hillbilly lovin machine & chocolates better than sex always make me smile πŸ™‚ also Hey Lady, Jennys courting song & fuckwit. The bastard song is good too but if I had to pick just one song I’d love to hear you sing it would have to be the wax song. I still piss myself when I hear that!

  3. Hi Jenny, you’ll be fine by Saturday.

    Just to help you along:……

    Shower – Yes
    PJ’s – No
    Other clothes – No
    Boobs still killing you? – Yes, all for a bit of female wrestling!! :p

    Songs? Any will do. You’re as funny as the old man whether you sing or not.

    Looking forward to it. πŸ™‚ xx

  4. Oh, I need to win, this is the only album I am missing, so my suggestion is ‘Perfect Man’ as every time I play my iPhone linked up to the car stereo (‘coz I’m clever like that πŸ˜‰ ) I have to wack it up full blast! πŸ™‚

  5. These are my fav songs so if I was there I’d want to hear those.

    Love to see ya again in Perth u got lotsa new fans with me pumping ya music in my car.

    Fuck em
    Parasites
    These boobs
    Barstard

    :). All the best

  6. Barstard
    Facebook
    Parasites
    These boobs
    Fuck em
    Chocolates better than sex
    I’m a Sheila
    50 shades

    That would be amazing πŸ™‚
    All the best. Hope the blowjobs go away πŸ™‚ n ya get better real soon πŸ™‚

  7. Hi Jenny,
    Assuming that you can cram in around 9 songs (with a bit of chat in between etc) my suggestion for your set list would be as follows:
    1) Take It Like A Man
    2) Things In Hidden Spaces
    3) The Bastard Song
    4) Jenny’s Courting Song
    5) How Can I Be Under You
    6) Fuck For A Living
    7) Hillbilly Love Machine
    8) Wax Song (Wax Off)
    9) Facebook

    Cheers,

    Steve

  8. Barstard
    Facebook
    Parasites
    These boobs
    Perfect man
    Fuck em
    Chocolates better than sex
    I’m a Sheila
    50 shades
    Camel toe
    David beckham

    But all your songs are piss funny Jen. I’m sure everyone appreciates it blasting out the cars stereo πŸ˜€ hehe.

    Get better soon :).

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *