So, there’s 3 more sleeps until my first ever STAGEIT show.
And I have bronchitis.
Now, it should be said that I never really accepted bronchitis as a ‘real thing’
I used to go to school with a girl that was always home with ‘bronchitis’
And her boyfriend was always absent with it too.
So of course I thought bronchitis was some kind of code for ‘blow job’
Turns out, bronchitis is code for constant chest pounding coughing and general ‘I’m probably dying-ness’
Diamond WISHES it was blowjobs keeping him up at night
Instead, he gets, ‘water, I need water…more pillows…tell my Mum I love her’
But…I’m doing all the right things, and plan to be good to go by showtime Saturday.
There’s a good chance I’ll even change out of my PJs and shower too.
The set list is up to you guys, which is a good plan
Because every time I take a sip of the Jesus Juice that the doctor prescribed, I want to bust out some Salt ‘N’ Pepper or Neil Diamond.
A set list composed by me would be very weird right now.
Another reason to want to get rid of this lurgy….SPRING BREAK!
Not wet t-shirt, beer bong spring break.
This is more, we’ve got kids and are supposed to take them with us when we go places now
So, skiing it is.
Outside…in the snow….temperatures hovering at zero all week
PERFECT for getting over whatever ails you
Unless what ails you is bronchial and cold air makes you hack up.
When I booked it, I had visions of me in a cute ski suit, drinking hot chocolate by the lodge fire, regaling other guests with my stories and photos of me mastering the most advanced slopes on offer. All while patting a St Bernard that lay dozing at my feet.
Realistically, it’s shaping up to be me and my camera, bottom of all slopes, taking photos of Diamond and the girls skiing up a storm….while I hold my flask of lemsip, using the lid to deposit lung oysters the cold air makes me cough up. With the odd ‘fuck off’ tossed at whoever wants to come up and say hello.
It IS my birthday while we’re there, though
Cake makes everything better.
So, here’s what I need…
Besides these Jesus Juice hallucinations to stop (last one had me dropping the kids off to school in my bathing suit….oh wait…)
I need you guys to create the set list
Remembering that the show is only 30 minutes long
But I’ll be able to throw in songs from the new album, Fuck It Up Fridays….
Whatever you choose…
Leave a comment here, with your ideas, suggestions
and cures for this bronchial bullshitI’ll pick one, and send that peep out a copy of my new cd F.O.C.U.S.
I’ll announce the winner during the STAGEIT show