fuck it up friday #17

I did a gig last year in Perth and was having fun being a dick bantering with a bloke in the front row. We somehow got onto to topic of his lack of penis size, when a lady a few rows back yelled out, “I can vouch for that!”

I’m like, “So you KNOW that he has a small penis?”


Okee dokey…

Not 10 minutes later  I started hanging shit on was talking to another guy stupid enough to sit in the front row and the same lady yelled out, “He’s got a tiny dick too!”

I’m not even making this up.

And guess what? She pointed out her 3rd victim ANOTHER guy in the audience, and claimed HE was tiny in the wedding tackled department too. At this point I’m thinking SHE must be  a wet bucket was the problem here

So it being close to Christmas at the time, this song sort of fell out of the hole in my face where the words come out – and NO ONE loved it more than her. So she was totally a good sport about me calling her a whore it

This ditty could go out to so many ladies (I use that term loosely) Like a Kardashian, or a Lohan

Or especially that slut chick from high school to had the nerve to give YOUR boyfriend a hand job behind the garden shed at Josie Raymnond’s 17th birthday party but you’re having the last laugh now ’cause you saw on Facebook that she’s on to her 3rd husband and her arse is FOUR times wider than yours….how’s THAT for karma biatch!?!?


Merry Christmas to all the hoes


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