toof fairy

Magoo got her first wobbly tooth a couple of months ago

And that tooth has stayed wobbly ALL THAT TIME

She wouldn’t let me yank it out, or even go near it

Two words – kill joy

When I left for the Queensland tour, I made her promise to not lose the tooth while I was gone

Knowing full well that it would fall out when it was good and ready. She’d have no say in when

So when I got home, I was surprised to see it still hanging in there

And I mean HANGING in there

Grody to the maximus

Her new tooth had completely grown in behind the wobbler

That old tooth was WAY beyond overstaying it’s welcome

Then the night I got home?

Shazam! That fucker fell out

She woke up the next morning and it was gone. We had to hunt for it in her bed.

The next night she was giddy with excitement that the tooth fairy was FINALLY going to come and visit her

After coming to see her sister EIGHT TIMES already (that girl has enough for a deposit on a house with all her stashed tooth fairy money)

Diamond & I did the stealth sneak into Magoo’s room

And in the middle of sprinkling glitter over her bed, leaving an “I lost my 1st tooth” certificate, and removing the tooth from under the pillow (yeah, I know….we’re nuts)

She sat up in bed. WIDE AWAKE


Diamond and I should have been in the special forces we hit the deck so quickly

“Toof fairy…are you here?”

I was so tempted to answer in my best tooth fairy voice, “…yes, now go back to sleep. And remember to make your Mummy breakfast in the morning because she is the greatest”

But I thought she might get suspicious that the tooth fairy had an 80 year old chain-smoking man’s voice – just like her Mum

So for once, I stayed silent

She laid back down

Diamond & I waited, on the floor – in the dark – for-fucking-ever, until we heard the gently roar of her snoring

Then we put the certificate on her nightstand, threw the money, dumped out all the glitter – and booked it out of there before she woke up again

Mission accomplished….huzzah!!

She was SO FUCKING HAPPY when she woke up, I thought she was going to cry

So all these crazy things we do to see our kids smile, that hopefully their memories a little magical – are totally the shit when we manage to pull it off

Next up….Santa Claus

Imma gonna need more wine for that one

And a stunt double



  1. My 8yo son sidled up to me and in ear shot of his 6yo brother, said “Father Christmas doesn’t exist”. Quick as a flash, the 6yo said “Don’t be stupid, of course he does. Do you really think Mum would spend that much money on us?”

    I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry but that little one is going far!

  2. We revised the custom with placing the tooth in a shot glass, next to the bed when we were caught out the first time (first tooth of our eldest). ‘Sorry, Darling – your tooth fell on the floor – we were just putting it back. Let’s put it in a little glass so it doesn’t fall off again and the tooth fairy can’t find it’. Made every tooth an easy chore… 😉

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