license to kill

After stopping for coffee at a petrol station this morning

We were walking back to our car

When a little blue car zoomed right by us, into a parking space

Changed it’s mind

Went in reverse

And floored it

Doing a massive backwards u-turn

Covering half the parking lot

Almost running me over

No shit

Dad actually pushed me out of the way

It was coming so fast, I barely had time to react


I watched the car pull into another spot

And a lady got out

She was about my age

So you know, old enough to know better

But obviously still too young to give a fuck


I walked over to her and said, “I don’t know if you’re aware or not

But when you were zipping around back there

You nearly hit me

And would of, if my Dad didn’t have the reflexes of a ninja you dumb botch

She’s like, “Yeah, I saw you”

Me, “Wuh?

You nearly hit me”

She said, “But I didn’t, so I don’t see what the problem is”

Me again, “Wuh?”

I was a bit taken back by her ‘i could giveth not a fucketh’ attitude

She walked off, “…See ya”

What the fuck?

All I could come out with was, “Oh…OK then yeah….bye…you have yourself a great day then..keep on keeping on ‘n all that

And driving like a CUNT”

I’m such a wordsmith


  1. Sorry Jenny, but we really do have some shit drivers here in NZ. Glad your Dad saved your life because me Mum and Dad are coming to see you and your Dad play in Auckland. And it would be not cool if you were in a plaster cast or something.
    Love Natalie

  2. bit of advice jen …when you come to sydney …dont drive round bankstown area round 3 pm …its full of muslim women in big 4 wd’s and they cant drive for shit mate …….and they WILL hit you :/…glad ya dad saved you tho …would be a disaster should anything happen to you

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