(don’t) let the bed bugs bite

We flew into Durban today

Found out when we got here that tomorrow night’s show is sold out

When we’re on tour, those are pretty much the best words you can hear

Sold. Out.

And room service

Those two words make me tingly too

Having a quiet one in my room tonight

We don’t usually party too much on night’s off anyway

I think I’m still a bit jet lagged

But the main reason to not go anywhere

Is that I’m sitting here in my underwear covered in calamine lotion, cortison cream & all sorts of other stinky potions

Sexy, no?


Well you can thank British Airways for that disturbing mental image

‘Cause those unhygienic bastards gave me FUCKING BED BUGS

OK, so I totally can’t prove that

All I know, is on the flight from London to Johannesburg

I started to get itchy

I had a tank top on and I kept scratching my shoulders

Then when I woke up in Johannesburg

I had bites on my arms

Today I have more

I don’t know if that constitutes as ‘bed bugs’

But I googled it

And oh, I totally shouldn’t have googled that shit

I will never learn my lesson

So my self diagnosis is bed bugs

Even though technically, I got them from a grody plane seat


So now I KNOW I’m going to have nightmares

About big fucking buggy insect thingies

Crawling all over me



I think my therapy bill should be BAs to pay, yeah?

And my room service bill too

‘Cause I’m probably going to sleep in the bath

And I’m ordering a bottle of wine from room service to take with me


  1. u dont gotta worry about those buggers in our hotels. but we (ur audience) might bite ur bum if given half a look in.

  2. Gee, Thanks for this blog, Jen! *scratching…itch…ITCH…SCRATCHING* I hope I can sleep tonight…*tearing at the skin*

  3. Hi, I also got nailed by bed bugs travelling from London to Johannesburg on the same. I was in exactly the same situation, no proof but when I arrived in JHB I was covered in painful bites. Email me if you want to take this further with BA.

  4. My family was also attacked by Bedbugs on a BA flight from Washington Dulles (IAD) to London (LHR). My daughter and I each received more than 40 bites each. The itchy-burning sensation lasted for weeks. When I complained BA offered us each $400 and I refused as inadequate.

    if you want to discuss more you can email me dmz3@aol.com

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