colder than a witches woo woo

I can’t believe that I live in Chicago

And then I come to Australia for this tour

And then had to buy a COAT

because I’m a fucktard & didn’t bring one

I mean, I have shitloads of bloody coats/jackets/scarves/furry underwear

But I left home thinking, it’s Australia

How cold can it get?

Yeah well, I got my answer to that one early on

And technically, it’s nowhere NEAR Chicago cold here right now

But my body doesn’t give a shit

It’s cold

Thank God for backstage heaters and hotels with electric blankets

Go ahead, call me a pussy

But at least now with my new coat, I’m a warm pussy

Eeewww, bad visual

Not Sorry


Anyhooo

Saying hi to all the people that come to the shows never gets old

Especially with all the technology we have access to these days

So I can be on, say, FACEBOOK

And read someone’s comments on there about coming to the show

How maybe they’re excited, and it’s something they’re looking forward to

Or they might TWITTER that they’re on the way to a gig

And if I have my shit together, which is like never

I like to take note of their names

And then, embarrass the shit out of them call them out when I’m on stage

Just to say hi, and let them know that I know they’re there

I have been having some fun fucking with people with that on this trip

It’s funny, ‘cause there are many people that I have been communicating with online

That I’ve never met

And their profile pic is of their dog or their kids

So you don’t know what they look like either

It’s always fun to put a face to a name you’ve only seen on a computer screen

This week has see us meet A LOT of mates from the internet

Competition winners

Fans of our albums

We’ve been given all sorts of stuff to sign

Of course there’s the tits

And number plates

Cars

Teddy bears

Guitars

Old RECORDS

Everyone’s always so happy & friendly

.

This is Kylie

And she reads the blog religiously

And I got to meet her & Tanya at the Tanunda show

(told you I’d put you in here!)

I know I’ve said it before

but I drink a lot and like to repeat myself

But it’s got to be one of the best parts of the job

.

One more South Australia show

Then Tasmania, here we come

And they tell me it’s even colder there!

Apparently the kind of weather that makes you realise men have nipples too

Please send thermal underwear

Ooh oohh, hang on!

I have an even better idea

Send Diamond !!!



3 comments

  1. One day, lady, we will hang out

    And you can totally sign one of my breasts. I’ll even let you pick one. And if you’re good I’ll buy you a drink.

  2. Thank you darling, I need that to cheer myself up, though I feel very very tall and I love my chocolate, so don’t fear it may make you grow!

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