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Whenever I go away

I try to leave fun stuff behind for the girls to play with

Besides Diamond

I used to leave little treasure hunts with clues all around the house

Then we got Fluffy

And realised that he can digest Polly Pockets whole

Have you ever tried to rinse doggy guts off doll that’s smaller than Gary Coleman’s pecker your Papa toe?

It’s the total opposite of awesome

The last few times I’ve been at the shops with the girls they have stopped at the Littlest Pet Shop section

And did the little happy dance that I would do if Yellow Tail Merlot was on sale little kids do when they’re excited

They would ooh & aah over these little plastic animals

And ask how many more sleeps until their birthday or Christmas so that maybe they could get one

And I’m all, it’s about 200 bazillion days away

Buuuut, if I get back from tour and Daddy doesn’t have any new grey hairs on his head

Then Mummy & Daddy might get them for you

And this elicited a double-whammy-spazzo-version of the happy dance

So, because I’m so tough and strict and no I’m not

I went back to the store later on by myself & bought the merlot that was on sale Littlest Pet Shop TRIPLETS

And left them with Diamond to be used as bribery when it became necessary given to the girls if they were being total bad-arses

And by bad-arses, I mean good

He held out 2 days

Go Diamond you soft cock

So since they received their Triplet Hamsters & Triplet Puppies

The girls have NOT STOPPED TALKING ABOUT THEM

PLAYING WITH THEM

SLEEPING WITH THEM

OBSESSING ABOUT THEM

Miss 6 has built hers a house out of a shoe box

That she tells me has solar power, a vet clinic, restaurant, nail salon & shuttle launch

Miss 4 always has bandaids and lipstick on her ‘TROOPWUTTS’ as she calls them

I’ve tried correcting her, honey it’s TRIP-LETS, not TROOPWUTTS

Can you say TRIP?

TRIP!

Can you says LETS?

LETS!

OK, now just put them together & say TRIP-LETS

TROOPWUTTS!!

Oh well

.

These things have become a total currency in our house

If you don’t practice piano you won’t get to play with your Triplets

If you sleep in past 6am you can watch TV with your Triplets

Everytime I talk to Diamond he’s like, you HAVE GOT TO GET MORE of these

These little plastic pieces of crap are GOLD in this house

Buy all of them, EVERYTHING they have

With these Triplets, we finally have the POWER

And I’m all like, are you TELLING me what to do?

He says, no, I’m BEGGING you

Oh, OK good

So I went straight onto amazon.com and bought whatever else they had

I didn’t tell Diamond yet

I told him I’d see what I could find

Let him sweat it out for a few days

‘Til they get delivered on Saturday

And then the 3 of them will be running around the house singing, Mummy’s the best! Mummy’s the best!

Who says you can’t buy love?

Give me $30, and I’ll prove you wrong!




One comment

  1. My almost 8 yr old is obsessed with these things too. She has over 100 pets now – they need their own bedroom. If you get the plush toy variety they come with a special code so they can play little pets online.

    My husband buys little pet love too. Bastard.

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