As I type this
Miss 6 & Miss 4 are upstairs in ‘timeouts’
Miss 6 in her room
And Miss 4 in my office
Normally a timeout would mean them saying, Yes Mummy, putting on their best remorseful faces
And heading upstairs to play or read a book
Today they are both sitting on the carpet, in the middle of each room
I’m not sure how long I’m going to let them stew
Is a month too long?
What sort of discipline do you guys use?
‘Cause while the girls are full of awesomeness
And kids can be arseholes
Doesn’t mean we don’t love ’em
But we all have our days
‘cept me of course, but you knew that already
The trouble started early this week
Miss 6 is on Spring Break from school
So we had the week planned out with fun stuff to do
And lots of playdates
Playdate # 1 – Miss 4 ate all the other kid’s lunches
And Miss 6 made the little sister cry
Not her own little sister that shit happens daily around here
The 4 year old sister of her school friend
So they both got warnings and a stern talking to blah, blah, blah
Playdate # 2 – Miss 6 put a bean bag on the little sister (again not her own) and made her cry
And Miss 4 stole their telephone
You read that right
She. Stole. Their. Telephone
It was shoved up the sleeve of her jacket when I was trying to buckle her in her seat as we were leaving
And I said, are you kidding me – you’re STEALING their telephone?
And she just looked at me and said, yes I am
So they got bigger warnings & a grade A stern talking to
That’s the one where my face changes colour
Now I know some of you are probably thinking, no one deserves this more than me well they’re just kids and that’s what kids do
And I get that
But it’s my goal in life to one day stop wearing maternity clothes not have THOSE kids
You know the ones I mean, I’m sure
THOSE kids that you can’t take anywhere
THOSE kids that are brats?
THOSE kids that when you see them out, you want to slap ’em upside the head and shoot their parents are sooo glad they’re not yours
(Doesn’t this picture make you want to sew your vajay-jay up?)
And while I don’t think my kids are even close to being THOSE kids
I’m convinced that even the worst of THOSE kids, must have started out as good kids at some point, right?
So I’m strict
And decided that before playdate #3 today
The girls would clean their toy room
Which looked like an abandoned preschoolers crack house
But they couldn’t do without fighting
So playdate #3 has been cancelled
Yep ,I actually followed through on a threat
I called up playdate #3 and cancelled
And I’m pissed about it
‘Cause today’s playdate was going to be a good one
The Mum is a good friend and she drinks duh, why do you think we’re good friends?
So now I will be drinking at noon, alone having a playdate with myself
*Feel free to insert your own dirty thought here*
update – just checked on the girls upstairs and they’re asleep thank you, heroin laced cheerios!