I mentioned a while back on twitter that Diamond had come to the conclusion that our kitchen was too small
So he went and knocked the fucking wall out
Yeah, that’d be a NO
I mean, technically it DID make the kitchen bigger
But now it had that exposed beam, insulation, dusting inhaling, half demolished look
Which I’ve never been much a fan of
So I was all, soooo, when do you think you might want to PUT THE FUCKING KITCHEN BACK TOGETHER?
OK, so I might have actually said it like that on the inside
On the outside, it sounded more like, wow babe, you’ve started already. Can’t wait to see how it turns out
And Diamond’s all, well you’re leaving soon, so it’s going to have to stay like that for a while. I can’t do it when you’re gone – I need someone to help me
And oh, how I love to help by yelling out instructions from the comfort of the couch
In all fairness though, my tradesman’s crack IS pretty impressive
It’s eerily similar to this one if you added 10 years and 30 pounds to it
I’m pretty sure that’s why he likes having me around
I think he must have just remembered that it’s my birthday this weekend
And although I won’t be home until after, he’s worked out what would REALLY make a great gift
He’s always maintained that I’m really easy to buy for
Of course I am
How easy is it to shop for crotchless undies, fury steering wheel covers & gold leaf earings?
Who says I need to LIKE what I get?
He sent me thru some pics
And I seriously did big snorts and had sprite come out my nose when I saw them
(FYI sprite out the nose BURNS like a mofo)
He’s got the KIDS helping him
Measuring, up on the ladders
Miss 6 looks like she’s right at home
Enjoying herself even
Miss 4 again proves that she’s mine, all mine
With a face like a busted arsehole sour puss
Looking very unamused at being forced into child labour
I almost for bad for them
But if it means getting my kitchen put back together?
Then they need to suck it the fuck up