Can we have a word?
It’s kind of embarrassing
I’m a proud Aussie
Always have been
But you guys are making life hard
It’s bad enough living on the other side of the world and only hearing about the homeland in the news if there’s a shark attack
Or about a guy caught shagging at the gas station
And it’s never good to be from the country that has politicians parading around in cock jocks
I’ve read in the paper
Seen it on CNN
All over the bloody joint
The NAKED AUSTRALIANS!!!
‘Cause a photographer
Some bloke called Spencer Tunick
Is a total uncle pervey known for taking naked pics of people all over the world
And his latest targeted fetish subject happened to be Australians
Oh, the PRIDE!
Don’t try and tell me there is not a weirdo contingent that LIVES for this shit
Parading around with their dribbling semi-boners checking out the tit parade
Do you not put toilet paper on a public toilet seat before you squat your bot?
Well then, what the fuck’s up with trotting out your uncovered minges in public – and rubbing it up against strangers, sidewalks and the FUCKING SYDNEY OPERA HOUSE for fuck’s sake??
I know that a huge percentage of you could not have posed for these photos – laid down for them even – without sharing with your fellow wack jobs new friends what you had for breakfast
Tell me that didn’t look like a never ending line of drive thru car washes!
You are treading dangerously close to having your license to carry a vajay-jay revoked sisters
Five thousand of the nutters there was
Outside the Sydney Opera house
In their birthday suits
Of course, it’s all done very sleezily tastefully, as all good art is wank wank wank
And parade myself around the touristy spots in Sydney
(Sorry about the visual there peeps)
I would sooooo find my freckly bum locked up in record time
But this is ART
And that makes it OKAAAAAY
What the fuck ever
But that’s not what this is about
All I’m trying to say is how about some NORMAL news from down under?
I mean, I’m trying my best to spread the Aussie cultural around the world in my own classy way
You lot are NOT fucking helping