Decorating the tree gets to be more fun every year

‘Cause the girls are getting old enough to really help out now

Which allows me more time to drink wine supervise

I never usually get pics of the decorating, ’cause I’m the one decorating

And Diamond too

He does all the stuff at the top of the tree

Where you need to be on a ladder to reach it

Me and ladders?

We’ve never gotten along

I think I inherited that from my mum

Just ask her about the ball on the roof in Kalgoorlie

Basically, ball on roof + a ladder + my mum

= a trip to the dentist


The girls were sooo into it yesterday

We had the Christmas carols cranked up

The kids had hot chocolate

Diamond and IΒ had booze did not

As we were putting each ornament on the tree we were saying which ones were our favourite & why


Diamond’s choice?

He loves the shit out of this god awful singing Elvis decoration

He’s had it from before we met

He also used to have a butt fucking ugly Elvis wall clock

Which mysteriously disappeared when we moved in together


But the Elvis ornament is still around

I reckon it was maybe from an ex-girlfriendΒ who gave great head or something

‘Cause every year when it comes out of storage, he gets this ‘look’ on his face

Anyhoo, it’s his favourite


Miss 6 loves her Barbie ballerina one

Mrs Claus gave it to her last year

FYI – Mrs Claus knocks on our door every Christmas eve, and leaves a Christmas ornament, book and Christmas PJs for all of us

She’s a pretty cool chick that Mrs Claus


My fave is the Shrek one she gave me last year

Which has nothing to do with the fact that Miss 4 totally looked like baby Shrek until she was 2

I also like my Aussie ornaments

I have heaps of them

And my best mate Sammy sends us all a new one every year from the middle of fucking nowhere the little town she lives in


Miss 4 loves her Piglet ornament she’s had since she was a baby

It nearly got beaten out by this little shiny rocking horse this year

Until she realised it wasn’t made of chocolate

I didn’t have the heart to tell her that chocolate decorations are banned in our house

Ever since the Christmas of ’02

When I had a raging case of PMS was feeling ‘peckish’

And started nibbling on the chocolate ornaments on the tree


And kept on eating until I nearly choked on the angel

Moderation has never been my friend

One comment

  1. I have bought my kids a ornament every year since they were born. My tree is heavier than my ass now (well, maybe not). I want Mrs. Claus to knock on my door…she has very cool taste in ornaments! Must say, I LOVE The Shrek one too!

    The Holy Season and your tree pic has me thinking religiously… “Thou shalt not covet thy Jenny’s tree”! Nice job!

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